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The Zombie Cookbook
Cooking With Zombies Has Never Been Easier or More Fun!
Eleven poems, recipes and stories to entertain you and help you entertain with zombies from writers who know. Romance and revenge, the Wild West and a wild train ride, exterminator tips and zombie tirades. Come, see how the other half lives...or doesn't.
A Hard Message to Deliver by The Zombie Cookbook (the band): Who would have known writing an introduction would be so dangerous?
Wokking Dead by Karina L. Fabian: It's war and love when zombies invade a Korean restaurant.
Secret Ingredient by Lisa Haselton: There's a zombie in the kitchen! That may be the case, but when spaghetti-eating zombie Clete takes a job as the assistant chef at the L-Double-J ranch, he's not the one you need to watch out for. It's a tale of catering and culinary revenge. Would you have added the secret ingredient?
A Zombie Named Clete by Lisa Haselton: A little poem in honor of the twice-deceased Clete. Was this on his tombstone, or did he carry a copy in his pocket?
Beer-Battered Zombie with Butternut Squash by Becca Butcher: What's a cookbook without a recipe? Not for the faint of stomach, though with a few substitutions, it might actually make a good meal. (Not everyone's a fan of squash, after all.)
The Right Recipe By Lin Neiswender: Zombie culinary aficionados had better watch out! The zombies are not pleased to be eaten, as the editor of the Zombie Cookbookery Publications discovers in this tale of turnabout-is-fair-play.
Quick & Easy Zombie Pastie by Kate Sender: A no frills, four-ingredient full course meal will satisfy both your Zombie's cravings and nutritional needs.
Express Cuisine by Dawn Marshallsay: Zombie attack on a speeding train--is there really any escape? Fight, hide, jump--none of it can stop you from becoming...Express Cuisine.
Brain Food by Carla Girtman: Ah, domestic zombie bliss! It's the Undead Cleavers mixed in with a little Arsenic and Old Lace. Can't tell you much about this story except that the ending will surprise you as much as it did Thelma!
Brain Salad for Dummies by Scott Virtes: The practical guide for that zombie invasion. Your own little zombie poison recipe, combined with practical advice. As Scott says--Follow his advice and you might get enough sleep at night to stay two steps ahead.
A Zombie's APB by Cinsearae Santiago: A zombie decides to give a "Hear ye, hear ye!" to the human race after getting fed up with the lack of "good food" these days. All he wants is some good, organic humans--is that too much to ask?
My Big Fat Zombie Wedding by Karina Fabian: So what if he's undead? That won't keep Vida from marrying her true love--and neither will challenges from prejudice to unusual dietary needs stop the wedding of the decade!
Purple Raven Book Reviews
WOW! I LOVED this book!! The Zombie Cookbook is comprised of several short stories, poems, and recipes that include the use of zombies. I'll go over each one individually.
"The Wokking Dead" by Ms. Fabian is a funny 'ZombieBusters' type of story, taking place in a Korean restaurant, Seoul Food. Using paint thinner, chainsaws, flame throwers and even Super Soakers loaded with their own zombie-killing concoctions, this group of 'Busters is not one to be played with! "Secret Ingredient" by Ms. Haselton, has Annie and Sam, owners of the L-Double-J Ranch, hiring a zombie named Clete to help her out in the kitchen! Although Anne is definitely not fond of having a zombie in her kitchen, despite Sam's defense that Clete is well-trained, and can cook a damn fine meal, she can only tolerate this very mismatched cooking duo for so long, and comes up with a tricky tactic to put an end to things once and for all. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer! "A Zombie Named Clete" by the same author is a tiny tribute poem to the zombie in the aforementioned story. "Beer-Battered Zombie" is a recipe by Ms. Butcher that had me in a fit of tears--You'll be saying "Ew!" while laughing your head off at the same time! "The Right Recipe" by Ms. Neiswender tells the tale of Paul Clemmons, Food Editor of Zombie Cookbookery Publications International. Checking through his emails containing comments about the latest book of zombie recipes, (while ignoring the badly-spelled death threats) he gets an unexpected surprise from a pizza delivery person that'll put him in the position of the one being eaten instead of the zombies! "Quick & Easy Zombie Pastie" by Ms. Sender is another recipe that made me say, "Holy crap!" while laughing my butt off again. This particular recipe invloves the use of puffer fish as well, and does double duty as a 'refreshing smoothie'! "Express Cuisine" by Ms. Marshallsay, has Ruby, a tired secretary trying to get home on the train, facing a grave dilemma and a bloody brawl when a few zombies are discovered on board, the reason for the dilemma even more strange! "Brain Food" by Ms. Girtman is a flash fiction piece that packs a lot of the 'yuck' factor as a zombie husband tries a bit of an experiment on his quickly-decaying wife. "Brain Salad for Dummies" by Mr.Virtes was a very amusing short containing ingredients to keep a zombie off your trail while you escape them. (Leaving a TV on helps a whole lot too!) "A Zombie’s APB" by Cinsearae S. has the tale being told by a ranting, raving, ticked-off zombie, fed up with eating humans, as he claims we don't taste good anymore! Being so over-medicated, and pumped full of 'chemicals' and with occasional non-organic parts in our bodies, he gives a few hilarious incidents that prove his point, not to mention an idea to lure in only 'au natural' people for his kind to eat! "My Big Fat Zombie Wedding" by Ms. Fabian was a really cute, 'wedding of the century' story, as a human and zombie get married, not to mention the other paranormal guests that come to the reception, plus a special recipe for an 'Intel on Ice'--almost tempting, except for one ingerdient, lol! I also loved the cool intro from a special metal band from Amsterdam, called "The Zombie Cookbook"! Check them out at thezombiecookbook.com! Lastly, the artwork contained in this tome, done by George Silliman, compliments the book perfectly, not to mention the book cover itself, done by Ms. Santiago!
The Zombie Cookbook is kick-ass, 'pee-your-pants' funny, and definitely worth checking out! For those with a dark, twisted, sick sense of humor, GET THIS!! 5 Stars! Available at DamnationBooks.com! Find it HERE!
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