This One Act metaphysical Comedy takes places in the attic of a madman who comes face to face with himself.
MADMAN: What are you people doing in my attic? (He approaches curtain line) You're not from the Saint Guinevere sanitorium, are you? 'Cause if you are, forget it, I'm not coming! I've got enough trouble with the loonies out here, let alone the ones you've managed to cage up!
(His mood suddenly changes) However, if you're tourists from another world, welcome! Welcome to this little solar system's own cosmic freak show, starring...
(He pulls off plastic nose) Yours truly! Classical, all around madman! (He bows to audience, then proceeds to take off cape, wig, and make-up as he talks) I was once quite acceptable to the general definition of what is currently agreed upon as befitting the terminology of the word "normal." Oh, I'll admit, I sometimes found myself on the outer boundaries of that definition, wandering along the untrodded frontiers of psychological wilderness as it were...But, all in all, most of my early years were lived like a good...cow, ruminating all day long and following the herd out to pasture.
(He proceeds to paint on another face and puts on a beard) You like? Call me Ivan. Ivan Ze Terrible!!
(He suddenly changes mood as he removes beard) I always liked those guys, you know. The ones who could make you shiver before they ever stepped in the room. To think they also wore diapers at one time...Wow...(suddenly melancholic) So much for the good old days of childhood.