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Greg C crites

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Devlin Abnormal Investigations: Case File—The Hell Hermit
by Greg C crites   

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Books by Greg C crites
· Zane Sickle Comic/Adventurer
· Dunkin, The Vampire Slayer
· Hard Boiled Headline
· No You Can't Have It
· Bluetooth Bayou
                >> View all

Category: 

Humor

Publisher:  veinarmor press Type: 
Pages: 

201

Copyright:  2007 ISBN-13:  9780615159348
Fiction



Possibly the most politically incorrect, offensive character ever created. This is a spin off of the character, Devlin, from the Dunkin, the Vampire Slayer series of novels. It's a rip off of X-Files, featuring a near indestructible alcoholic vampire, with few socially redeeming qualities, a wolf, a chimp, a few other off-beat characters and the end of the world...unless Devlin can can find some liquor in the non-alcoholic Mideastern lands.

Excerpt
“What are you?” The Hell Hermit asked.

“Well, I am a really nice guy for a vampire, if you ask me. I am an alcoholic, if you ask my secretary, or my ma, or any of my friends. But, you have to be drunk to be an alcoholic.” Devlin tipped up the fresh bottle of rum and drank the entire contents. He slammed the bottle down, and turned to the Hermit. “Now ya see, I am feeling a little tipsy right at this very moment, but in five minutes... I’ll be sober as a church lady. That’s my life and welcome to it.”

“No one has touched me in a thousand years,” The Hell Hermit said. “Do it again.”

“Let’s not get kinky there, ya hermaphroditey. I ain’t wired that way. No offense.” Devlin walked back to get another bottle. “There’s places down the street where ya can pay girls to beat the buffalo shit out of ya. Quite reasonable too. They put ya in this big bird cage, and take whips...”

“No one can touch me,” The Hell Hermit said. “It’s part of my punishment.”


Professional Reviews

Brilliant!
This kicked ass. Absolutely, positively ROCKED, from the intro of the Hell Hermit, to your jackass ending (ok, I'll admit that the ending had me snorting Red Bull at my screen again, but only because... well, I LOVE that Jennifer told him to shut up and kiss her. That just rocks, and as much as I hate to admit it, it was the perfect ending), it kept me glued to the screen, desperate for more, and if it was a book in my hand (AHEM. hint, hint) I'd have sat down in one sitting to read it. Which only means that I need it- NOW- on my bookshelf. Seriously, this series you created is absolute genius. Three books with Devlin, and I still want more. He's the perfect storybook badass, and I love him. I love the way he reacts to the people in his life, and I love the way the people in his life deal with him. Honestly, you rocked this, and I'm in awe of you. Now... um, WHERE THE HELL IS DUNKIN?!?

Classic!
Brutha was that well timed! Pal, you did it again. “...(spoiler delete) is arguably the finest last sentence of a book there ever was. This is beautiful, dude. Great, great book. Glad you left the Moriarty Effect, it adds depth to the whole world you’ve created by drinking too much milk. Oh, one little thing...

Satisfying!
Well done! Very satisfactory ending. The overall structure couldn't be better. I can see how Devlin has acquired an enthusiastic public. Still not my genre, but that doesn't keep me from appreciating good writing, sound structure, vivid imagery, side-splitting wisecracks, brash irreverence - and, above all, prolific creativity.


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