Join Free! | Login    
Happy 4th of July!
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  R. Glenn Brown, iPeggy Schmuldt, iGary Rodriguez, iPier Tyler, iAlbert Megraw, iPatricia Sanders, iMyra Darwish, i

  Home > Humor > Books Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Greg C crites

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· 8 Titles
· Add to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Mar, 2008

Greg C crites, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Dunkin, The Vampire Slayer
by Greg C crites   

Share this with your friends on FaceBook
Books by Greg C crites
· Devlin Abnormal Investigations: Case File—The Hell Hermit
· Zane Sickle Comic/Adventurer
· Hard Boiled Headline
· No You Can't Have It
· Bluetooth Bayou
                >> View all



Publisher:  Veinarmor Press


ISBN-13:  9781411682436

DUNKIN, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, Something Porcine This Way Comes
A completed 63,000 word humor/horror novel set in Florida and Brazil. The first book in a trilogy.

Dunkin, a 450 lb vampire slayer has been around a long time. He has plenty of secrets behind his body's girth or 'Vein Armor' as he calls it. An accident brings Dunkin together with several slightly dysfunctional characters. Together they go on an undead hunting expedition that starts in sunny Florida and works its way down the Amazon in South America.

“If there is somebody stupid and a donut involved, I know where you’re at, Buttwipe.” Devlin’s voice intoned no good-natured humor. No comeraderie. Only flat, calm disdain.

“Come on you guys,” said Sam’s partner, Lou Gaines. “What happened Devlin?”

“I left them laying there,” Devlin nodded to the bar door. “I didn’t frisk them. I hoped Buttwipe would run in, acting stupid as usual. Maybe one of them pulls an ankle piece and shoots him in that gourd head.”

“You’re drunk Devlin. You’re under arrest. You screwed the pooch this time.” Sam said.

“I’m an off duty detective whose gun is locked away upstairs in my apartment. I am an 'on duty' drunk who was minding his own business, havin' a drink. All of a sudden two of your illegitimate children, results of your shakedown of a two-dollar hooker back in the days when you could still see your feet, barge-in, rob the place, shoot a hole in the ceiling, then try to escape.” Devlin looked Sam in the eye and waited to see whether the long sentence and its deeper meanings were understood.

“Their mistake,” Devlin continued. “Was trying to exit out the back door. Like the milkman does at your house, Buttwipe. That’s why I thought they might be a pair of your 'misfires'. Anyway, they came running through the bar. I feared for the safety of my drink. It was in clear jeopardy of being spilled in the tumult. So I did what I have always wanted to do to you. I caved in one of their heads, took his gun and shot a hunk of lard off the other one.”

Want to review or comment on this book?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Popular Humor Books
  1. Soldier's Gap
  2. Punk Slut
  3. Jeremy's Little Book of Stalker Greetings
  4. Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking
  5. My Twill is Tasted: I Mean…My Tale is Twis
  6. Hand in Glove
  7. Terre Bluff under Attack
  8. Peace on Earth
  9. Foot Soldiers
  10. Fairy Tales With A Freudian Flair

The Miracle Man by James Skivington

Miraculous events in a tiny Irish village bring out the best - and worst - in everyone...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.