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State-of-the-art, very new and refreshing, startlingly right-on and detailed, insights into interpersonal "love" relationships and interactions, and where the line should be drawn regarding abuse, violence and the early warning signs of these.
This innovative book takes a fresh and very close up look at intimate partner abuse and violence, which often takes place behind closed doors, inside marriages and other "loving" relationships. This abuse can be physical, emotional, financial, and or even some combination of all these -- which it often is even when not seen by others or the members of the relationship as being such. Browne-Miller uses her own carefully crafted vignettes, standing and emerging research, as well as her own unique and cutting edge psychodynamic approach to interpersonal behavior, addictive relationship patterns, and treatments of these problems -- to help us recognize the difference between a relationship being affected by normal stressors, (which also can benefit by this very close look at partner interaction), and one that is, while frequently invisible not only to onlookers but to the parties involved, emotionally, financially, and or physically abusive, perhaps even deadly. We are all in need of better understanding what we are doing in intimate partner relationships, even in the most successful ones, and in understanding how this impacts the world around us, including our children. There is no lay or professional reader who will come away unaffected. There is no denial of any form of abuse -- or of anyone's own role in any form of abuse -- that can come away unbroken. Arun Ghandi, who has authored the foreword to this book, adds a special touch to the paths to nonviolence Browne-Miller promotes.
COMMENTS ON TO HAVE AND TO HURT BY ARUN GHANDI:
"Dr. Angela Browne-Miller is an expert in the psychodynamics of relationship abuse and violence and has written an excellent book on what our responsibilities in interactions should be and how best can we deal with this cancer of violence that is eroding our society. I have no hesitation in recommending this book to anyone who faces such a desperate situation as intimate partner abuse and violence that threatens to tear the members of the relationship, as well as their family, apart."
Arun Gandhi, Founder-President, M. K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence, Rochester, New York
I want to acknowledge all those who have experienced abuse and violence for their pain. And for those who have stepped forward, owned this pain, thank you for being on the front lines of truth, for showing the world what it is like to con-
front this pain, to step forward and really own the being hurt, the hurting of others, and the hurting of oneself. Thank you for being the ones to make help
clear to humans that humans can indeed be violent beings, can indeed recover from violence, and can indeed recover from being violent beings.
I want to acknowledge the child witnesses who have seen what no child need see, who will now be called to work to overcome these experiences. I want to acknowledge all adult child witnesses and child witnesses who seek to break the legacy of abuse and violence between people who love each other.