Follow the author's struggle to learn from and let go of the devastating feelings of betrayal, grief, anger, fear, and loneliness that engulf her when her husband of 27 years leaves her and they divorce. Abandoned 600 miles from everyone she knows, her dream shattered, without a home or job, she dares to ask, “Why?” The answers lay buried deep beneath her pain.
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While Letting Go is not the book I anticipated writing, it was what needed to be written. I had expected to be writing about my animal-communication experiences. But, as you will learn from my story, expectations can be dangerous to have.
Letting Go was begun as a personal journal of healing, so I could understand and learn from the circumstances that befell me when I left my beautiful Fair Chance Farm in central New Jersey. I moved with my husband to the mountains of North Carolina to build our dream retirement home.
Just as I embarked on this fabulous new chapter in my life, my husband confessed, "I never wanted any of this… ." My journaling began as I struggled to learn from and let go of the devastating feelings of betrayal, grief, anger, fear, and loneliness that engulfed me after we separated and divorced. Abandoned 600 miles from everyone I knew, my dream shattered, without a home or job, I found the strength to ask, "Why?"
The answers were buried deep beneath my pain. My quest for Truth revealed the most unusual teachers from within Nature and the spiritual realms, because I had the courage to seek answers. The more I wrote, the more the story took on a life of its own. I began to realize the powerful lessons I was learning were not unique to me. Having started my writing as an act of self-love, it began to reveal itself as a story of self-help for others.
Letting Go is the extraordinary story of how I discovered how to let go and embrace the destiny unfolding before me. It is a story of powerful trauma followed by personal and spiritual growth, healing, and transformation. It tells of loss and change, and my survival of both.
While my animal family forms the basis of my support staff, this book is about a woman alone. It is a memoir that heralds the personal strength available to all of us; all we need is to believe in ourselves. All we need is to follow our heart.
I invite you to open your minds and your hearts, and this book. It will show you where to look for help, and how to survive your own "dark night of the soul." Start your own journey of healing and transformation now!
“I never wanted this house. I never wanted to be here. This is all
your dream and I feel like I’m just along for the ride.”
My heart froze as these startling words rolled from my husband, Bob’s,
lips. They would change my life in ways that I could never have imagined. I felt
like I’d been hit in the stomach with a bat. I was speechless, very uncharacteristic for me.I stammered,
“It didn’t occur to you to say something in the last four years?” He said he was confused.
I needed time to process what just happened. It was surreal. It was as though I’d just crossed over into a different dimension. Had the past three and a half years of my life been based on a lie? No, we’d made every decision together. What about his secret dream to own the top of a mountain and his happiness and excitement at the party before we moved? What the hell was going on?
The next morning, I told him that I really didn’t know if I could continue
to live with him. How would I ever know if we were doing what he wanted? He
offered no answers, nodded, and walked away.
Later, I asked him to explain what had changed, what he wanted. He didn’t
have a plan. He seemed to know what he didn’t want. Finally he mentioned several things he wanted, none of which seemed to involve me. In the middle of our discussion, he went outside leaving me in utter amazement.
I took off my wedding band, placed it on his side of the dinette, and cried. He came back in and asked if I wanted to talk about “it." Apparently “something” was upsetting me. Ya think? I didn’t know how anyone could be so disconnected from the reality of what was occurring. I felt like a complete and utter failure.
Over the next week, I suggested going to counseling to understand what
was happening. After no response from Bob, I made an appointment with a local
psychologist. He reluctantly agreed to go, but the day before the appointment he backed out. He declared, “There was no point,” since he’d always be the person who stole my dream house. I told him he hadn’t been listening to a thing I’d said. I was crying over a relationship that was dying not a house! Our official separation began that day when he moved from our camper. I will never be able to fully express the utter sense of disbelief, hurt, and failure that consumed me.