Almost flying takes a hilarious look at the zany sport of raising and racing pigeons from the slightly demented mind of Dick Williamson. The Book covers Dick’s life long relationship with the birds using the stories as a humorous metaphor to explain what he thinks is wrong with the world. He just may have a point.
"How about we just give it a good meal and perhaps scrub it up a little then find it a home? Besides," I reasoned, "pigeons and puppies make lousy friends."To further support the validity of getting rid of the animal, I rolled it over on its back and pointed at the under side. "You see all of this complicated plumbing under here?" I asked. "In lay terms, that knobby thing is called a baby apparatus and those little bumps you see is how they feed them." I gave it a few moments to sink in. "Give this thing another six months; it'll be squeezing out carbon copies faster than a Xerox machine." I summed up by saying, “This could potentially mean a half dozen or more miniature leg lifters harassing my birds on a daily basis." By this time the pup had positioned itself firmly between my wife's legs. "Alfie doesn't hike her leg, she squats,” she said. "Don't you know anything about dogs?"" Alfie?" I asked, quite perplexed. "What makes you think that the dog's name is Alfie?" "Well, what do you want to call her?" she asked. I glanced at the puppy, then back to my wife. "How about calling her a cab?" I said sarcastically. "Very funny," my wife said. "Daddy didn't mean it, Alfie."Did you ever have one of those days when you wish that you had been born a cockroach? Just leading a carefree existence, living off the refuse left behind by others.