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Cherie Burbach

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Member Since: Aug, 2006

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At the Coffee Shop
by Cherie Burbach   

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Books by Cherie Burbach
· Father's Eyes
· The Difference Now
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Category: 

Relationships

Publisher:  iUniverse ISBN-10:  0595342728 Type: 
Pages: 

80

Copyright:  January 19, 2005
Non-Fiction

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E-dating is not for freaks and weirdoes! Learn the "art" of Internet dating - my writing skills helped me meet my husband online, and I'll show you how!

Amazon
The Difference Now

First of all, I know what you’re thinking. Me? E-Date? Isn’t that for losers, social misfits, ugly people? Well… no, no, and… no. E-dating, or finding dates over the Internet, is merely a way to expand your outlets for meeting people. And it has some very distinct advantages over other more traditional, dating methods. Sure, it might seem odd or even scary at first, but take it from me, it can be done. You don’t have to feel weird about doing it, you will have fun and, you might even find the love of your life. I did, and I’ll tell you how.

Let me start by saying that I had the same kind of trepidation that many people have when they begin to e-date. I thought that if I was meant to meet Mr. Right, I just would somehow. On my own. At the grocery store, or in a restaurant, or sitting next to me at church. And I did meet guys this way – but none of them were the right one.

Still, despite all this the thought of Internet dating seemed like a desperate thing. The only people that did that were losers – the people who were desperate to be with someone. Right? Or worse, the people that used a computer to meet people were freaks – the kind of folks that couldn’t meet someone during normal dating channels.

Hey wait, I hadn’t found the right one through all the normal dating channels yet. Did that make me one of those freaks?

These were all the thoughts that ran through my head. Some of these thoughts escaped my head and came out of my mouth. When my friends heard these things, they suggested I just give Internet dating a try. And when they did – I immediately became offended.

I was so hesitant that when one of my (married) friends suggested I look on the Internet for a date, I took it as an insult. Didn’t they think I could find someone on my own? A few of my pals even sent me links with men they thought I might like. When I took a look at them my first reaction was, these guys are cute and seem normal… so what’s wrong with them? If you’re asking yourself this, too, well I’ve got news for you… the same question could be directed at you. The answer of course is that nothing’s wrong with you, you just haven’t met the right person yet.

Even after searching a few Internet-dating sites I still was apprehensive about the process. It was an unknown. I wasn’t sure just how to begin. I had some preconceived notions about what it might be like – and scary ones at that. And you know what? It can be scary at first, but with some tips and techniques you will be able to maneuver your way through the world of Internet dating like a seasoned pro. All you need is some advice from someone just like you that’s done it and succeeded.

Sure, I had the same ideas about finding someone on the Internet that you do. At first I thought it was a place for losers, ugly people, freaks, and the like. I really believed that in order to meet “nice” people I had to do things I thought nice people did. I went to singles events at my church, I met people through friends, I grocery shopped, I worked, I went to school. I kept up my life full force and hesitated doing any kind of formalized “search” for the right person. I thought that in order to meet the right guy I should just live my life and eventually I’d meet him. I had an incredibly active, full life and of course I would just meet someone equally active then, right? It “would happen” eventually. At least, that’s what I used to think.

But sooner or later I realized that at the end of each day I would come home alone and still have the need to share my life. I wanted someone to talk to about my day, my hopes of publishing a book, the adventures I’d had at work, the things I learned from school. I wanted someone in my life.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have that many dates. Quite the contrary, I’d had several. But I wasn’t about to settle for something that wasn’t quite right, and I was willing to wait until that right person came along. I’ve heard it been said that dating is really a numbers game, and the more dates you went on, the closer you got to finding the right person. I had actually sat down and calculated that at my age of 36, if I took an average of one date a month since I was 18, I had been on over 200 or so dates. This figure amazed and depressed me. How could I not find the right guy out of 200 of them?!

The great thing about Internet dating is that it takes some of the guesswork out of it. EVERYONE on the system is looking to meet someone. So if someone responds to you, they are at least a little bit interested. Nowhere else do you get this kind of assurance. When you approach someone in public and they smile and talk to you, they could be interested in you, bored, or just too polite to tell you to go away. Internet dating levels the playing field. You can get to know them a bit before you even meet them, and that certainly put me ahead of some of the blind dates I’d had with set-ups from friends. You have the ability to, in a sense, control your destiny.

Admittedly, dating itself is not for the faint of heart, let alone e-dating. But with a good plan and proven techniques you will get far and you’ll be able to do it at a pace that is comfortable for you. There is someone for you out there. Through Internet dating I had over two dates a week for six solid months. And one of those guys turned out to be my future husband. We met, knew we were perfect for each other, and married in just one year.

So let’s get down to business. These techniques will give you the boost to get started and maintain a successful Internet dating campaign. You can do it. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how long you’ve been out of the dating scene. If you start today you might just be married in a year (like me).


Excerpt

First of all, I know what you’re thinking. Me? E-Date? Isn’t that for losers, social misfits, ugly people? Well… no, no, and… no. E-dating, or finding dates over the Internet, is merely a way to expand your outlets for meeting people. And it has some very distinct advantages over other more traditional, dating methods. Sure, it might seem odd or even scary at first, but take it from me, it can be done. You don’t have to feel weird about doing it, you will have fun and, you might even find the love of your life. I did, and I’ll tell you how.



Professional Reviews

Read this if you are looking for "Mr. Right"
Reviewer:
Reader Views "www.readerviews.com"
Reviewed by Kelli Glesige for Reader Views

Many of us have the impression that meeting people over the internet is very dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. Most of us would never tell someone looking for a date to search for one through an online dating website. However, Cherie Burbach may just change your mind about e-dating if you follow her advice and take the precautions she shares.

If you've tried dating through the traditional means and have found no success, maybe you should look at things in a new perspective. Cherie Burbach found herself to be 36 years old and single with a career she found satisfying. Something was missing however, because she really hoped for a husband and family someday. She finally decided to give e-dating a try and ultimately found the man she is currently happily married to. In her book, Cherie also tells us of her experiences, both good and bad, and offers her views on how to make the whole e-dating process safe, fun and successful.

Most of us probably feel that dating in and of itself is not for the faint of heart, so e-dating can be an even scarier proposition. If you are still hoping to meet that special someone, it is important to be a complete person all on your own first. Time spent alone will help you to know what you really want so that when you meet someone, you will have a good idea if they are "Mr. Right", not just Mr. Right "for now". You will only be wasting time if you don't know what you are looking for.

Before reading "At the Coffee Shop," all my feelings about internet dating were negative. However, after reading the book, if I were in the situation of wanting to find a lasting relationship with someone and I had tried other means of dating without success, I would give internet dating a try. Internet dating has the distinct advantage in that everyone at the site is looking to meet someone. There is much more control because you choose who you want to see, what time of day or night you want to look for a compatible profile, if you want to e-date just a little or more often, and you can take a break or even stop whenever you want. Cherie stresses that you NEVER give your address or name for safety sake, and if you ever feel uncomfortable online, block someone out and move on, especially if someone can't take a hint or just "creeps" you out.

"At the Coffee Shop" got its name because Cherie feels a coffee shop is the perfect setting to initially meet someone to see if you might be interested in seeing the person again. A coffee shop is a public place which is a MUST. It is convenient and comfortable for both people, there is no pressure to carry things further with the uncertainty of whether or not to buy dinner, and it is easy to get up and leave if things aren't going well or stay and talk if you hit it off with this person. Limiting the initial meeting to one hour beforehand is a suggestion to help make the meeting more successful.

Although Ms. Burbach feels that internet dating is the easiest and most reliable way to meet people you will click with, she also states that any relationship involving interaction will take work to make it successful. You will meet nice guys, but just like in real life, you will also meet some goofs. "Internet dating is not for lonely freaks that can't find a date-it's for anyone that has yet to find the right person." If you are still looking to meet "Mr. Right," I would suggest reading this book!



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