Excerpt
This book is for every generation of gay men. For men just coming out into their "gay careers," as sociologists used to say, and for men who've been around the block many times and are just as confused each time they make the trip. It is for men who are in relationships and are trying to make them work, and for men who are trying to be in a relationship, and for men who never want to be in one. Despite it's title, it is often not so much a "how-to" book as a "why is it?" book. That is: it deals with why we are doing so many awful things to ourselves, things that you probably see around you every day; and then how can we change this.
A lot of people will ask why I did this. How could I presume to write a book like this? I don't have a PhD. I'm not a social worker or psychologist. Unfortunately, the gay market has been flooded with books by well-meaning social workers and psychologists, who often (despite being gay themselves) have only recently been able to come out. But they are sure that, with a bit more therapy, their gay patients and clients will be able to have the kind of lives that they as "professionals" could not. And, "mental health-wise" (on some planet I've not been able to imagine so far), they'll be able to cope—but not in the bruising, difficult "gay world" that most therapists still have very little handle on. Likewise, as an unaccredited sociologist, I have not interviewed hundreds of gay men to find out "how they tick." (Usually, the result of this is finding out the therapists tick!)