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Danine Manette

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Ultimate Betrayal-Recognizing, Uncovering, and Dealing with Infidelity.
by Danine Manette   

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Publisher:  Square One Publishers ISBN-10:  0757002811 Type: 


Copyright:  May 2005

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Square One Publishers
Ultimate Betrayal
Ultimate Betrayal:Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity.

Ultimate Betrayal is a how-to book which provides ordinary people with valuable tactics to expose and catch a cheating mate. Through a series of observations and exercises, the reader is ultimately able to uncover the truth about their relationship as well as about themselves.

Most people have been in a situation is which they were deceived by a loved one. Almost everyone has had the experience of getting a "funny feelingĒ that something strange was going on, but could not quite place their finger on it. Often, although there are indications that something has changed in a relationship, people donít want to acknowledge the possibility that their mate may be being unfaithful. Because infidelity is such a hurtful reality, often people would rather ignore the possibility of what may truly be the issue at hand rather than confront the situation head on.

Some people are able to recognize this uneasiness as a sign that they may be involved in an unhealthy relationship. These people realize how important trust is to a commitment and would rather be alone than to live without it. Far too many others, however, simply donít rely on their own intuition and are, therefore, unable to walk away from situations which potentially pose a threat to their mental and emotional well being.

This book is a useful tool for those people who are unable to have faith in their own intuition and instead desire to have some sort of solid, indisputable proof in order to validate their suspicions. These people need additional confirmation that they were justified in leaving a relationship, as opposed to simply trusting their ďhunchĒ or ďfunny feelingĒ.

Contained in the pages of this book is a step-by-step guide to recognizing signs, gathering evidence, and building a strong case against your cheating mate while examing yourself in the process. The content of this book is intended to provide suggestions for the ordinary person, by using field tested tactics available to practically anyone. This book not only provides tactics for catching your cheating mate, but also points out signals and signs to evaluate whether or not your mate has a cheating propensity, or perhaps whether your relationship may simply be headed for trouble down the road.

In addition to techniques for observing and gathering evidence, this book also provides strategies for presenting such evidence in a manner which will yield the most productive response. Much of the time people allow themselves to be overcome by emotion to the point where they fail to properly and adequately present their position during conflict resolution. Using the tools presented in this book, the reader will learn the importance of patience, timing, and tact when confronting their questionable mate.

In the end, this book forces the reader to identify and confront not only the issues within their relationship but also the issues within themselves which contributed to them being the victim of the Ultimate Betrayal.†††††††††
Jedi Mind Tricks

Have you ever been in a situation where you had all of the facts and were ready to wage war, but once you were in the middle of the confrontation, things became so convoluted that you ended up being the one under attack? In these types of situations you know that you are right, but somehow, often within a matter of seconds, you find yourself on the defensive, struggling to justify your actions. What has happened in these instances is that you have fallen victim to what is affectionately known as a "Jedi mind trick". These tricks are played so fast, you hardly know what hit you. You start off waging a justified war and end up walking away apologizing to the villain. You ask yourself, "Now how in the world did that happen?" Well, I am here to tell you that you have been a victim of one of the oldest tricks in the book...
There are several identifying features of a Jedi mind trick. First of all, you are attacked before the issue which you have raised has been addressed. This is done as a way to buy time until he can come up with an explanation. Secondly, you will be accused of being someone who's possessive, insecure, crazy, psycho, sneaky, looking for trouble, immature, trying to start something, and just like his ex-girlfriend, all before you get an adequate explanation for the evidence you have presented. These tactics work with amazing success by throwing you to the left while he escapes to the right. As soon as a discussion of why another womanís underwear are stuck under the sheets at the foot of his bed turns into a personal attack on your character and mental stability, you are falling prey to a Jedi mind trick.

The best way to avoid these games is to steer clear of them in the first place. Remember, once again, always have a reason for being where you were when you found what you found. This helps you to avoid the "Why were you looking in my coat pocket?" counterattack. Try your best to arrange the facts of your confrontation in such a way that the information obtained just sort of "accidentally" landed in your lap. If you can, avoid having to confess that you were snooping.

Another way to avoid a Jedi mind trick is to always have numerous pieces of information on hand. Then, when he tries to attack you or down play the validity of the first piece, you hit him with another and another until he crumbles under your successive blows. It is easy, as you will discover, for him to dispute one piece of evidence, but far more difficult to explain away a series of incriminating facts.

If you find that you are unable to avoid a Jedi mind trick and awaken to discover that you are being baited into one, it is often helpful to turn the tables. Sometimes phrases such as, "You think Iím so stupid," "You still havenít answered the question," "Donít try to turn it around!", or "Try again, you got that story from the Sunday Night Movie!" can deflect the severity of his attack on you focusing attention back onto him and the fact that his story is still very weak indeed.

Finally, if you find that you are deeply trapped within a Jedi mind trick, have fallen and canít get up, resort to a surefire tactic and call his bluff! Suggest that "we" call his aunt to determine whether he really spent the night at her place last night, or check with his cousin to see if the new leather wallet really did come from her. Now, be prepared for him to fight you every step of the way, saying, "I canít believe you are really going to call that woman!", "Why would you bring these people into our private business?", or "I canít believe you donít trust me. Itís over!" Yeah, yeah, yeah, make the call anyway. And be certain to do it right then, before he has a chance to call and get his story straight. Do not, under any circumstances, allow him to talk you out of making that call! Itís better to be wrong and look stupid now than to be in the dark and look stupid for the next 50 years!

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Reader Reviews for "Ultimate Betrayal-Recognizing, Uncovering, and Dealing with Infidelity."

Reviewed by Peter Egan 5/15/2012
I haven't read it yet, but am almost certainly going to buy it for a friend who right now could use it more than ever. If she doesn't offer to let me borrow it when she's finished, I may well pick up a copy for myself as well.
Reviewed by Mary Wilson 6/4/2010
Just wanted to say in your last book as I read through, it sounds a lot like some advice I would give. Sometimes women let their emotions get in the way and they move too fast. They need to take a deep breath and do their homework and collect evidence:) I love your style and advice. Your new book sounds VERY interesting also. I will check it out. I think the title "The Problem With Women Is Men" is a winner.
Reviewed by Lori Jones 7/2/2003
What a journey!! This was good - having experienced what you have experienced and then reading about it is powerful. You have put into words every thought, fear, angry outburst, stupid act, etc.

I'm glad this book was not just about how to tell if "he" is cheating, but really more about the self-destruction of ourselves in searching for the "cheater".

Some of it is funny-having lived thru it, survived and all, I can laugh; but, boy, were those some painful moments-you articulated them nicely - I "felt" you.
Reviewed by 2/23/2001
This book is OUTSTANDING. The author gives excellent techniques about catching a mate that may be cheating. The book also encourages self-analysis about one's self and what one may do to "enable" the cheater. This book offers valuable lessons that are delivered with a sense of humor.
Reviewed by 2/21/2001
The author gives a very insightful view into the mind of cheating mates. She also knows how to identify with feelings that everyone has probably had in one relationship or another. This book encourages readers to examine not only their mate but themselves.

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