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Carl G Hindy

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If This Is Love, Why Do I Feel So Insecure?
by Carl G Hindy  J. Conrad Schwarz, Archie Brodsky 

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Publisher:  Random House Publishing Group ISBN-10:  0449218597 Type: 


Copyright:  July, 1990 ISBN-13:  9780449218594

A very readable book based on a large scale study of the causes of insecurity in romantic love relationships. The research results are illustrated with case studies, and self-help questionnaires and techniques are provided. Now in its 25th paperback printing.

The book is premised on Attachment Theory. "Anxious romantic attachment" (for which a test was developed), jealousy, and post-relationship depression are discussed in detail. They are viewed as manifestations of a person's underlying attachment system which is shaped in childhood and interacts with partner and situation factors in complex ways.

Carl Hindy, Ph.D., is a resident of New Hampshire, and as a clinical psychologist he provides individual and marriage counseling in Nashua, NH.

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Professional Reviews

Publisher's Weekly
New Hampshire psychologist Hindy, Schwarz, professor of psychology at the University of Connecticut, and Brodsky, coauthor of Love and Addiction , here present the impressive results of a research project on insubstantial relationships. Charts and questionnaires accompany stories of people whose marriages and/or romantic affairs fail, predictably and consistently. Case histories gleaned from the 1700 participants in the study dramatize situations that reveal how even accomplished men and women lose partners through self-defeating behavior. There are examples of anxious lovers exhibiting servility or belligerence, jealousy and possessiveness, etc., emotional flaws rooted, according to the authors, in childhood. Readers suffering from fears of rejection will find numerous parallels to their own experiences in the depictions of ways people drive away those they love. 50,000 first printing; $50,000 ad/promo; author tour. (Apr.)

Library Journal
Basing their discussion on the results of tests taken by 1750 people as well as on numerous studies and interviews, the authors focus on what they call anxious romantic attachment or insecure love. In contrast to stable relationships, such attachments exhibit excessive anxiety, jealousy, detachment, and depression. To discover why some people are prone to these attachments and how they can help themselves, the authors offer tests, real-life examples, and concrete advice. Parents will find important chapters on how they affect the love relationships of their children's adult life. Challenging, informative, and helpful, this book is highly recommended.-- John Moryl, Yeshiva Univ. Lib., New York

Kirkus Reviews
While many pop-psych books prescribe band-aids for emotional ills, this one not only offers corrective surgery, but also diligently defines the disease itself. Through intriguing anecdotes, well-explained psychological methodology and clear charts, this comprehensive book offers solace and new paths leading out of our romantic cul-de-sacs.

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