“The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat” is a hilarious account of one-year in the life of Adrian Cat - perfect for teenagers and adults. It contains some very funny sophisticated humor.
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The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat
The secret lives and loves of cats are revealed in this adventure novel, entitled “The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat” that peeks into a year in the life of the mischievous feline Adrian Cat. Adrian is having trouble keeping his new year's resolutions (especially "I will not be condescending to my humans"), and he's also adjusting to the fact that his humans have a new baby, his best friend needs constant help, and he's in love for the first time—with the angelic-seeming Snowball. But Snowball turns out to be less than perfect and tries to lead Adrian into organized crime. She forces him to join the evil cat Killer’s gang. After numerous misadventures he realizes that he does not love the beautiful but power-crazed Snowball and really loves the scruffy yet tender alley cat named Gypsy. After Killer’s gang runs Gypsy out of town, Adrian is forced to make some strange friends, fight the evil Killer and travel a rough road in order to convince Gypsy of his love.
2:10 PM: I went to the canal and caught the biggest rat in the universe. What a brute! He didn’t want to be caught and tried to catch me instead.
Dragging him all the way home was a real marathon but the look on my humans’ faces when they see this magnificent present will make it worth all the effort.
Getting him through the cat-flap proved a bit tricky for it snapped shut on the rat and won’t open again - the creature is stuck in the twilight zone between in and out. I’ll have a short nap then I’ll have another go.
6:11 PM: What an ungrateful lot! No ‘thank you’. No ‘well done’. No ‘what a nice rat.’ Just a great deal of fuss.
I had not been asleep for more than two hours when I heard Skirt scream like she’d been caught in a mouse trap. After a while I felt obliged to go and see if I could help her - but by then she’d phoned Trousers at the office and made him come home. I got into the kitchen just as he prized the rat out of the cat-flap.
“I suppose we have you to thank for this,” he said.
I smiled and purred gently, swelling with pride.
“Well it just won’t do!!” he hollered, glaring at me.
“Won’t do?” I thought. “That’s about the biggest rat in all of Scotland - what do you expect?”
With tears flooding from his eyes, Brat gently patted the dead rat.
“Poor little bunny,” he said.
“Bunny? . . . Ooops! . . . Now I’ve had a proper look, it does have rather long ears. Oh well my mistake . . . never mind - these things happen”
But my humans did mind - big style! In fact they minded so much they buried the bunny with full military honors. Trousers wrapped him in cotton wool and placed him in a box. Then we had a funeral service in the back garden. As the little creature was laid in its final resting place, I sang, “Will ye no come back again.” But my humans didn’t really appreciate the irony. Humans have no sense of humor.