Lush is a tombstone. The doctors said that if he didn’t stop the substance abuse then there was nothing he could do. The author disagreed. He could document. A raw and brutal manuscript written bar top, down and out, and suffering the pangs of paranoia, self delusion and tram car observation. The author sways inebriated in a self created fantasy world of filth, abuse and intoxication as he searches for an outlet to the one hurt from which his insomnia feeds. Calenus’s theory, post coitum omni animal triste est (All animals feel sad after sex) is the resounding theme as the central character rebounds from one relationship to the next. The fantasy always outweighing the kiss, the touch, the sexual intercourse as dawn brings another torturous day closer. Lush is about a boy, beaten by his mother to finally grow into a man so confused about women that he will risk it all for the one. Poisoning himself and all that come near as he documents himself dying, one page at a time.
Lush is a whirlwind snapshot of 3 months in a new city and the methods undertaken to survive the author’s most severe illumination to the illusion of love, using everything available to numb the terror of the consequences of breaking the heart of innocence.
Autobiographical but stretched by elaboration, all the situations he finds himself in are brutally real. A journal of truth and hellfire.
I’m reduced to a common beast. A pathetic captured animal chewing off its own limb in order to escape the torment. What had happened to dignity? To pride? To integrity?
I pull the cork from the second bottle of Merlot and scan the personal classifieds to laugh into the hollow void of the hearts of lambs seeking slaughter. I needed to know that there were others out there. Lone desperate lighthouse keepers tending the lamp hoping that finally a ship would birth their docks.
I’d sucked the faces off all my female friends and half of my male. I had been stumbling around blindly seeking a replacement for the last. I needed just to know momentarily that the world was full of lost souls adrift from their moorings floating back and forth in occasional brief copulations and dispersing as they resume the search for the one.
The personal classifieds was a good place to begin.
A GENTLEMAN entertaining with financial security sought to spoil two attract’ classy Europeans.
ATTRACT 33 SPIRITUAL male seeks petite female 18-30 for safe sexual fun E-subs’ genuine replies only.
ATTRACTIVE 30 yo’ English guy seeks transsexual for very fun-times.
ATTRACTIVE 30 YO’ BI’ GIRL seeks same 25-35 for f/ship’ SE’ suburbs
ATTRACTIVE dark bi’ male seeks couples for discreet fun times.
BUSTY DOUBLE D WOMAN wanted for fun times eastern suburbs.
COUPLE male 45, female 38 seek bi’ female. Asian women welcome.
CROSSDRESSER 51 tall slim seeking female f’ship’, r’ship’.
CROSSDRESSER fem’ exhibitionist seeks friend for discreet parade.
DOMINANT married guy, 32, requires female or couple for day fun times.
DON’T MISS THIS!! I’m a refined, not unatt’ve’ woman in my 70’s. I seek a warm sensitive intelligent woman for outings to cinema, theatre, concerts & ballet.
ELLEN/HELEN PLEASE BE MY VALENTINE met you at Copacobana New Year Eve, love 1st sight, my soul mate. Cover band performed Jeff Buckley. Our souls truly connected when we were arm in arm. Love to hear from you.
EURO 36 seeks Indian/African 25-45 f/ship’ r/ship’ students welcome.
EXOTIC sexy Afro/Asian/Latina sought by late 30’s tall exec’ bachelor.
FEMALE wanting to meet other sgle’ Greek females 30’s for socializing.
FINE committed Christian lady 50+ seeks Christian gent godly man 50-60
FRIENDS WANTED Married couple 50’s seek same f’ship’. Non sexual.
GENT 60 seeks lady or couple for completion of lifestyle.
GENT 66yo’ seeks lady who also misses those hugs and kisses.
GRANDAD would like to meet grandma for f/ship’ to complete our lives.
GUYS bored lonely? Join me (male) on a fun trip to the Philippines.
GUYS required to satisfy my insatiable X dresser partner.
HANDSOME guy late 30’s seeks happy slim lady to become my wife.
HARLEY DAVIDSON BIKIE 35yo. Free rides hot machine for young ladies, r’ship’.
HERPES male seeking ladies all ages to start social group.
HERPES MALE 65 seeks female any age for affair f/ship’ r/ship’.
HERPES SOCIAL GROUP house parties music dancing all ages.
HOUSEWIVES wanted for discreet daytime fun male 30 city.
I’M A 56 YO’ single gent and I’m not seeking a committed r/ship’ but I feel the need for regular physical intimacy. If you share this need than I’d love to hear from you.
KISS FAN/80’s heavy metal seeks sim’ minded sub culture slim woman.
LA SENORA seeks el senor 45-55 yo’ for f’ship’ possible r’ship’.
LONELY 30 yo’ female seeks female friendship for girlie talks coffee dancing.
MARRIED African American 30’s seeks older woman. Discreet encounters.
MARRIED GUY seeks married lady for fun times.
MARRIED HANDSOME fit 35 seeks attractive Asian lady for intimate affair.
MARRIED INDIAN professional 45 seeks married lady for fun times.
MARRIED neglected 34 yo’ seeks attrac’ sexy 25-36 woman for fun time.
MARRIED 44 prof’ seeks discreet meetings with woman.
MARRIED 49 prof’ seeks married lady for discreet affair no stings.
MISTRESS wanted for 37 yo’ opportunity not to be missed.
MOTORCYCLIST fit 40 easy-going seeks active lady pillion rider/lover/social.
NICE LOOKING 36 yo’ guy seeks similar guys 30-42 yo’.
NUDIST seeks female 40-53 as partner at nudist camp.
PASSIVE GUY 55 yo’ seeks bi or gay guy, nth suburbs.
SEX BIKES ALCOHOL hot rods & Rock & Roll. If I’ve got your attention I’m 47 young, 5’10” no kids. Looking for fun r/ship’ with right girl, slim/med/bld’ 30-45. Lets enjoy life together!
SPUNKY separated mid 30’s gent seeks pretty and petite separated lady.
SWINGING 40’s male looking for bi’/str’ lady to explore swinging lifestyle.
T/V seeks similar for fun times.
WANTED pink shirt loving male for do dah times. Pin stripes only.
WOULD ……. FROM …….* (has friend Emma living nearby) call Bob. Met you at Town Hall 20th Jan for dancing lessons.
Jesus what a circus of undersexed under-loved carnie freaks.
When was the last time these animals even kissed a sibling and didn’t feel the loin excitedly jump with thoughts to Shakespearean incest copulation? I’m convinced that they all live in trailer parks. Except the pinstripe only guy. Almost replied to that one myself. Thinking about trying my own, just to see if it will be printed.