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Butane MacLane

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Member Since: Mar, 2009

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by Butane MacLane   

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A pot-dealing scam artist finds redemption on a pakalolo plantation in paradise.




Jimmy Philpot’s got heartburn. He’s got it bad. Maybe it’s guilt from pushing that crappy ditchweed around town. Maybe it’s due to the relentless pursuit of his dream: to move to paradise with his girlfriend, Peggy. Whatever. He’s poppin’ Pepto tablets to cool that fire in his gut.

A local hood, the Baboon, weasels Jimmy into a sack job. Our guy bungles it.

Now the heartburn flares like a furnace, but the medicine doesn’t work anymore. Jimmy fires off a money-back letter to the Pepto Corporation and, inadvertently gets on their mailing list. Flyers, coupons and earnings reports bombard his one-room apartment. One envelope looks official. Pepto’s screwed up! James Philpot has been cut a check for over $100,000.

Jimmy escapes to Hawaii. While trying to rob some native wedding guests, he has an awakening. He returns the valuables and earns the friendship of the groom, Duke.

When a Hawaiian thief steals Jimmy’s suitcase full of Pepto money, Duke escorts Jimmy high into marijuana (pakalolo) country to find the culprit.

Jimmy is captured by a Yakuza, the giant Japanese overseer of the huge pakalolo plantation. Meanwhile, the Baboon, Mob guys, law enforcement, and Peggy are trying to find him. Jimmy escapes but his pursuers are caught and they become a human luau to be fed to the pakalolo workers. Jimmy dons a disguise, appearing as the feared goddess Pele, just as a dormant volcano blows and scares the workers off.

For leading the authorities to the Yakuza, Jimmy is forgiven his crimes and remains in paradise with Peggy.

Ditchweed is a comedy about a small-potatoes rascal who finds redemption on a pakalolo plantation in paradise.

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