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Kage Alan

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Member Since: Jun, 2009

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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way To My Sexual Orientation
by Kage Alan   

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Books by Kage Alan
· Butt Babes In Boyland
· Butt Ninjas From Hell
· Butt Pirates In Space
· Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell
· Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins
                >> View all

Category: 

Gay/Lesbian/Bi

Publisher:  Zumaya Boundless ISBN-10:  1934135917 Type: 
Pages: 

264

ISBN-13:  9781934135914
Fiction

Welcome to the world of 19-year-old Andy Stevenson, where life is ruled by Murphy's Law and if something doesn't seem like it can get any worse, it generally does. His philosophy of life: "I was born a dumbass, have since become a smartass and aspire to one day be a wiseass." Talk about setting oneself up for failure...

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Zumaya
Common Language
Zumaya Publications

1989: The adventure begins during the summer after Andy’s freshman year of college.  With no car, no girlfriend and no real direction in life except the summer job, life is a bit of a bore.  A fortunate slip of the tongue by his neighbor sends his hopes soaring as Andy discovers he’s been drafted to accompany his frequently-sozzled grandmother on a six-day trip to California.  There are certainly less desirable ways to spend vacations, especially considering the prospects for a romantic entanglement.  It’s rumored that some women there will turn to soft fruit if there aren’t enough men around.  With odds like that, he’s bound to get lucky!

Upon arrival, however, life becomes a series of comical faux pas with relatives who can’t remember his name, where a large spider tags along for a shower, women want to charge him $10 to put suntan lotion on their bodies, sugar daddies want to pick him up after watching him perform striptease karaoke—which of course he can’t remember—and where a handsome young man kisses him at an anniversary party.  It’s that kiss which sets off a chain reaction in Andy, gives him plenty of interesting dreams to interpret and forces him to reexamine what he thinks he knows, what society wants him to believe and why so many people are talking about his &ldq

1989: The adventure begins during the summer after Andy's freshman year of college.  With no car, no girlfriend and no real direction in life except the summer job, life is a bit of a bore.  A fortunate slip of the tongue by his neighbor sends his hopes soaring as Andy discovers hess been drafted to accompany his frequently-sozzled grandmother on a six-day trip to California.  There are certainly less desirable ways to spend vacations, especially considering the prospects for a romantic entanglement.  It’s rumored that some women there will turn to soft fruit if there aren't enough men around.  With odds like that, he’s bound to get lucky!

Upon arrival, however, life becomes a series of comical faux pas with relatives who can't remember his name, where a large spider tags along for a shower, women want to charge him $10 to put suntan lotion on their bodies, sugar daddies want to pick him up after watching him perform striptease karaoke—which of course he can’t remember—and where a handsome young man kisses him at an anniversary party.  It's that kiss which sets off a chain reaction in Andy, gives him plenty of interesting dreams to interpret and forces him to reexamine what he thinks he knows, what society wants him to believe and why so many people are talking about his "assets"!


Excerpt

INTRO

Love is a phenomenal experience. For some, it's merely a passing fanny while for others, like myself, it is the end of a long and often painful, if not embarrassing, journey into adulthood. I used to find it difficult to believe in true romantic love the way I found it difficult to believe in God, mostly because I'd never experienced either or thought I hadn't in the case of God. Now...now I believe in miracles and God because of love, but it didn't start out that way, not even close.

It seems ironic to me now that I never caught on to all the signs about my sexuality that appeared to me early on in life. Then again, maybe it isn't so ironic after all, especially with the way society feels about gays. I think I was too young to understand names and labels and religious beliefs dictating right from wrong in areas where only a fundamental fear of the unknown existed. It's universal for people to fear and lash out against what they don't understand. Homosexuality is no exception. Of course, rap music wasn't accepted by society for awhile either, so maybe there's hope after all.

The only unknown mysteries in life that I cared about back when I was growing up were what episodes of Johnny Sokko & His Flying Robot, Ultraman and Battlestar Galactica were going to be on TV that week. A few years after that, the mystery of what made my body feel good became a fixation as it did to many other young boys my age. However, that's said to be natural and normal and experimentation can be chalked up to boys just being boys. No harm is really done as long as it doesn't exceed a certain age where those curiosities are supposed to end and new ones begin.

That new age of curiosities was when I think I began to run into trouble because the old one never quit. I still somehow managed to repress acting them out and tried to focus on women instead. Essentially, that went nowhere. The harder I tried to make myself interested in the opposite sex, the further I distanced myself from everybody, including myself, and I was only in Junior High at the time!

My true search for love, that one thing I'd never had or felt before, didn't begin until after my first year of college while on a trip to California. I don't think I was really ready to begin my quest before then and I certainly wasn't prepared for what I found. The sum of my experiences early on in life forced me to reach out and become someone I had the potential to be as opposed to the wisecracking smartass I was; but, in doing so, it also forced me to come to terms with my true sexuality.

Who knew that my life would change forever in six days?



Professional Reviews

Book Review of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation
Andy Stevenson - a nerdy, nineteen-year-old, college student from Detroit, Michigan - is so deep in the closet that he is seemingly the only one who doesn't know he is gay. He uses a sarcastic wit to keep family and schoolmates at a safe distance, which works so perfectly well that he is still a virgin with no hope of overcoming his embarrassing deficiency.
But his luck is seemingly about to change when he is asked to accompany his alcoholic Grandmother on a six day trip to California to celebrate her brother's 50th wedding anniversary. Andy envisions thousands of bikini-clad, sun-bronzed women desperate to make love to him, and can't wait to hit the famous beaches. In his mind, all he has to do to lose his cherry is to first lose his Grandmother...
Once in L.A., the reality of SoCal babes turns disastrous for Andy until Jordan, Andyss sexy gay cousin, strikes up a flirty conversation and ends up kissing Andy on the lips at the anniversary party. That explosive kiss starts a chain reaction of comical faux pas that eventually force Andy to reevaluate everything he thinks he knows about himself.

Kage Alan paints a hilarious yet touching picture of a teenager coming to terms with his sexuality. This story is a breezy romp, an entertaining and intelligent look at a young man's struggle with coming to terms with his sexuality. I seldom laughed out loud, but I found something interesting, witty and humorous on nearly every page. It made me chuckle, it made me roll my eyes, it made me remember that time (oh so many decades ago) when I experienced similar feelings of confusion.

The one minuscule criticism I experienced was that the story is a tad predictable, but that didn't stop me from being totally engaged until the very last page. Often, I would sit down intending to reading 10 or 20 pages, and end up reading 60 or 80. It's fast, it's funny, and it's the perfect book to keep you smiling during a long weekend at the beach. I truly didn't want it to end. Lucky for me, I already have the sequel on the top of my to-be-read list.

But by all means, pick up a copy and judge for yourself. You won't be sorry you did.


A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation
Kage Alan's debut novel, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation, is a coming of age story about 19-year-old Andy Stevenson, a soon-to-be college sophomore who is struggling with his sexual identity in 1989. It is written in an autobiographical style and laced with wit. Andy, like so many gay young men, is in denial, often spouting stereotypical responses about homosexuality. It isn't that he's just closeted; he has no concept of what gay culture is about. When Andy's grandmother insists he accompany her to California for her brother's 50th wedding anniversary party, Andy eagerly leaves his no-future summer job at a discount department store and heads off for a week of fun. Here, though, he comes face-to-face with his own sexuality when his slightly older cousin, Jordan, introduces him to the local gay culture and confronts Andy about his own denial. In a few short days, Andy leaves California with a greater understanding of himself and an even clearer direction for his life: he wants to be a novelist.

I found A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation to be a warm story about Andy's inner struggle with himself and his family's expectations of him. But it also has some unforgettable characters like his boozing Grandmother, his homophobic great-uncle Chester, and his precocious nine-year-old cousin Lenny, who knows how to make martinis and mint juleps. Andy's outrageous observations of people sometimes go over the top, but at other times are right on the money. In general, the book reads a bit like continuous stand-up comedy, which in places clouds the story, but mostly reinforces Andy and the milieu in which he lives.


A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation
Home from college for the summer of 1989, but with no car and no girlfriend, nineteen-year-old Andy Stevenson just hoped for a break from his dull Detroit suburban life when he agreed to accompany his addled, cantankerous grandmother to her brother‘s fiftieth anniversary party in California. But a chance meeting with his handsome cousin Jordan leads to his first same-sex kiss and a six-day comedic whirlwind that ends up bringing Andy out of the closet.

Kage Alan takes the familiar theme of the vacationing teen who suddenly sexually blooms, and tells it from the point of a gay teen in denial. Andy narrates his own story with self-deprecating humor, but the slapstick antics of his family, the girls of California, and Andy‘s own impromptu performance at a gay bar lead to several laugh-out-loud moments.

There is tenderness, too. Jordan sweetly engages Andy and patiently helps him shed his Midwestern reserve. When, towards the end of the book, Andy and Jordan make love, Andy‘s innocent awe and excitement over what he has been missing leaps out at the reader. Reviewed by John BradfordHead, Automation & Technical ServicesVilla Park (IL) Public Library


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Books by
Kage Alan



Butt Babes In Boyland

Buy Options
Kindle, Nook, more..




Butt Ninjas From Hell

Buy Options
Kindle, Amazon, more..




Butt Pirates In Space

Buy Options
Kindle, Amazon, more..




Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell

Buy Options
Amazon, more..




A Funny Thing Happened on the Way To My Sexual Orientation

Buy Options
Amazon, more..




Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins

Buy Options
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..



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