I was crying hysterically trying to load the 12-guage shotgun. I kept saying to myself, “I’m going to do this! I can do this, and I will!”. As I finally got the shell into the chamber of the gun, I placed my forehead on the end of the barrel. I was ready to leave this horrible world behind, and I placed my finger on the trigger..........
Janie Robinson lives with her abusive and alcoholic Uncle. Following
closely in his footsteps she finds herself facing trials and tribulations
no teenager should have to face. From getting pregnant to almost
being killed by a psychotic lover, Janie finds herself searching for a
way to survive in life. Will she get the happiness she deserves in the
Five Years Earlier
It was the spring of 1985, and living in this small town of White Deer, Pennsylvania my entire life has not been an easy journey.
I always thought of myself as just plain ordinary. Being more on the tomboy side, always wearing jeans, tee shirt, and sneakers. When the weather called for it I would throw on a flannel shirt.
My hazel eyes changed color with my moods and I never wore makeup. If I wasn’t wearing a ball cap, I just let my curly brown hair land where it may. My teeth were crooked and my smile was imperfect.
I was usually a shy girl, but would say what I had to say if the need was
My mother, Delta Robinson, 43, looked a lot like me except she had blue eyes.
She worked at night, and with me going to school, the only time I saw her was on the weekends. Even during that time we didn’t spend much time together.
My mother worked in a factory. She worked for minimum wage and barely made enough money to get by. She had attempted college earlier in life, but dropped out because she couldn’t
Delta never had it easy growing up neither. My grandfather was an abusive alcoholic, mostly mentally and emotionally according to my Mom. His kids got out the first chance they got.
So she married my father when she was eighteen to get out of my grandparents house. They were married one year before I was born. My mother named
me Janie after her mother. Gram Janie died before I was born.
After three years of marriage, my father ran off with another woman that used to be a stripper. I do not know his whereabouts, and he doesn’t try to contact me.
I barely remember my dad. I was only two years old when he left. My mom has shown me pictures of him, but I could probably pass him on the street and not even know it was him. All the pictures are old, from when they were first married.
During the week I lived with my Uncle Ron and his wife Melinda. My living
arrangements were like this since I can remember.
Uncle Ron was a stocky man. My mother and him looked a lot alike in their features, except for the fact that my uncle was very gray at the age of 47. He was my mothers older brother and an alcoholic like their father. Grandpa died shortly after I was born, so I don’t remember him.
They are not talked about much. Especially around Uncle Ron. He hated his parents, mostly due to the alcohol and the fact my grandmother was so passive, (according to what my mom told me). I guess that is why he married Melinda.
Melinda is a pretty woman. She was short with a small build. She had beautiful long dirty blonde hair that
hung down past her waist.
Melinda is also a religious person. She goes to church every Sunday without fail. I think that’s the only thing my uncle will allow her to do herself. He wouldn’t dare step
foot in a church. He once said that if he did, the place would probably burn to the ground. I figured he was probably right.
She is passive too. The saying goes, “You always marry someone like your mother”.
He worked at a factory making plastic products, such as toilet paper holders, and by the time he got home he was usually drunk. Having raised five children of his own, whom were all older, he didn’t feel he should have to raise me too. I was just a burden to him that he wished he didn’t have to tend to.