supernatural, the paranormal, ghosts, angels, spirit gifts, prophecy. Does prophecy exist or is it imaginary messages from heaven or hell? There is also an uncensored edition of Knight & Don with adult material in more detail.
(also known as "Knight and Don: Gift of Dreams")
(short stories and poems)
The supernatural, the paranormal, ghosts, angels, spirit gifts, prophecy-- Does prophecy exist or is it imaginary messages from heaven or hell?
Each story or poem tells of an event in a dream, in life and death,which sets the scene.
Amazon or Barnes & Noble
ebooks on kindle and nook
The morning wore a yellow gown as the sun rose slowly over the
Mediterranean. The sunlight glistened skipping across the surface of
the water wonderingly and wanton looking for a place to set. Don’s
eyes drifted across the picturesque place and the feeling of sleep left
his face. This was another phase in his dreams where he would
journey with Miles by his side to a new world for them, this old world
called to him. The questions lingered about the unknown: Did Miles
believe in ghosts and drifting spirits? Could a childhood game of finding
random words in a book warn them of terrible events to come?
Longcliff Angels (associated story)
The Current Title—How catchy is it? How well does it convey the information in the manuscript?
I think “The Legend of the Longcliffs Angels” is a fantastic title that is sure to intrigue readers.
The Current Synopsis—How catchy is it? Does it intrigue?
The synopsis is a concise tool to help sell your plot to prospective publishers or agents. It is the first thing publishers will read when they look at your submission, so make sure it’s grammatically correct and that everything is spelled correctly. Basically, it’s a master summary of all chapter summaries—the who, what, when, where, and how of your story (leave out the why—this is not the place to cite purpose or inspiration). You’ll want to keep it brief (less than a page), attention grabbing, and crystal clear. Because publishers receive so many submissions each day, they rely on the synopsis to give them a detailed peek into the manuscript in order to quickly determine whether or not this is something their reading market would enjoy and whether book sellers would want to order the book.
A synopsis should always contain the following:
1. A great hook to entice readers and make your manuscript stand out from the thousands of others in the same genre.
2. Your book’s beginning.
3. The specific conflicts your lead characters are facing.
4. How they resolve and survive those conflicts.
5. How your book ends.
Always write a synopsis in the present tense, and remember: no flowery prose; no long descriptions; no secondary characters; no character studies. The synopsis is used to sell your plot. Please see www.writersliterary.com/editing.html for additional information.
What is the power of the opening 3–5 sentences?
May the end keep her.
The inn was before them. Soon, they would meet therein. Soon, would they meet their ends? They staggered up the side of the cliff at the edge of the angry sea toward their uncertain fates.
The glowing red rip tide below crashed on the shore of the island as the full moon hovered high above.
While this is a fair opening that works to establish the setting, I think it needs a stronger hook to draw in the audience. It’s also a bit confusing; you want to keep things clear so the reader can catch on quickly. On that note, I think you should omit the first sentence. It doesn’t make sense (at least, not to me) and it doesn’t flow. Please note that I have made a few minor corrections for grammar.
You want to jump right into action with the opening line. No descriptive prose. Action sequences and dialogue are two of the best ways to immediately intrigue the reader.
Dialogue (if any)—Describe and comment.
Dialogue adds life and interest to a story. Be sure to use double quotation marks for quoted speech and text; have all ending punctuation marks inside the quotes; and always start a new paragraph for a change in speaker.
I think your writing can be a bit muddled. Once your manuscript has been thoroughly edited, the writing will be clearer and more compelling. I strongly recommend referring to Elements of Style by Strunk and White, especially insofar as sentence structure. I’ve provided some examples of improper grammar and punctuation usage, with corrections, below.
Use italics to show a character’s thoughts. Do not, however, italicize punctuation. Use ellipses marks (...) sparingly in formal writing; they are strictly reserved for omitted words, phrases, lines, paragraphs, or more from a quoted passage. Also, in order to be taken seriously as a writer, you must at all costs avoid writing as you would speak. Informal language, made-up words, alliteration, onomatopoiea, and the like are strictly to be avoided.
Don-Cliff thought: She doesn’t know me yet and I Don-Cliff’t want her to find out…I Don-Cliff’t want her to see me.
Don Cliff thought: she doesn’t know me yet, and I don’t want her to find me out. I don’t want her to see me.
Be consistent with parts of speech, sentence structure, and verb tenses. Also, avoid run-on sentences; it is best to separate independent clauses through proper punctuation.
The massive head and open mouth of a dragon was at the base of the cliffs and the stairs slithered up the winding back of the creature until they reached the tail at the top of the stairs where the door to the end lied.
The massive head and open mouth of a dragon were at the base of the cliffs; the stairs slithered up the winding back of the creature until they reached the tail at the top, where the door lay.
Lay means "to place something down." It is something you do to something else. It is a transitive verb. The past tense of lay is laid. The past participle of lay is like the past tense, laid.
E.g.: Lay the book on the table. I laid it down here yesterday. They have laid an average of 500 feet of sewer line a day.
Lie means "to recline" or "be placed." It does not act on anything or anyone else. It is an intransitive verb. The past tense of lie is lay. The past participle of lie is lain.
E.g.: Lie down on the couch. Last night I lay awake in bed. I could have lain in bed all day.
Taken from: http://englishplus.com/grammar
There are a few spelling errors. I suggest both a computer spell check and a hand check to ensure no errors are overlooked. Be sure to keep an eye out for missing or extra words.
Conclusion (illustrations, length, formatting, other):
Illustrations and ideas about illustrations usually wait until later in the process. Please talk to your agent about illustrations.
The current length of the work is appropriate for the target market.
Overall, I think this is an imaginative and unique story with good market potential.
Poetry and Short Stories
“It was good to hear from you and to learn of your productivity. Your story is full of action and passion, and sounds like something that would fascinate readers. I’m flattered by your view of me and my work. Poetry is partly inspiration, but mostly, in my approach, careful honing. It’s a craft, as much as an art.” D.H. MELHEM biographer and poet
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