There are over 80 articles that discuss coping strategies for the bereaved, getting through special days of the year, informational techniques and my personal strategies for coping. Some of the articles deal with anger, childless issues, guilt, taking care of yourself, rebuilding a marriage, journaling, inappropriate responses to bereaved parents, getting through the holidays, finding organizations for volunteering, starting a foundation, what must be organized after a death, grief triggers, corresponding with bereaved parents, sharing memories with others and many more topics. Also included in the book are 10 inspirational stories, a hugh resource section, poetry and additional book recommendations.
This book will help the newly bereaved as well as the seasoned griever find their way through the darkness and into the light again to a life full of happiness and new meaning. Learning to rebuild your life with purpose is what all bereaved parents strive to attain. Using the ideas from those who have been there and readjusting them to fit your own situation can give you the practical and emotional support needed.
Creating a New Normal...After the Death of a Child
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Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (08/10)
Having been a professional counselor for many years, I still cannot say "I know how you feel." Each person grieves in their own way and none of us really know their feelings. The loss of a child is one of the most devastating events to occur in our lives.
Sandy Fox has written a very emotional, yet educational book, on coping skills for families and friends. In Chapter 2, the author talks about what others can do to help. This was a very important chapter. How many times have we said "It will get better with time." No, it never gets better, we learn to cope better, but we will never forget. We want you to talk about our child- mention their name, remember the good times. Don't act like the parent has a disease. If you don't know what to say, just listening or giving a hug would be good. Because death is so scary for most of us we try to avoid talking about it. So we stay away- in hopes that it will all go away.
Through various interviews Sandy has come up with some commonalities that grieving parents go through: they want to do a memorial for their child; they know there will be setbacks and some times will be more overwhelming than others; and parent(s) have changed- their priorities, goals and interests.
It seemed as if there was a common goal throughout- grieving takes a long time; friends disappear and sometimes the other spouse can't handle it and leaves. Many of those parent(s) find church to help them. Often they will ask "Why God did my child have to suffer?" Remember, these families are in shock and angry.
Holidays are another source of pain for many. But it is important that one doesn't sit at home and relive the death - go to family, watch videos of your child, volunteer at school. It may seem hard at first. You need to take care of yourself.
The stories throughout this book were excellent in that finally parent(s) could talk about what they need in time of a loss. Does anyone ask them other than saying "Let me know if I can do anything for you?"
Every chapter in "Creating a New Normal ... After the Death of a Child" brings more knowledge and makes readers really look at how one reacts when a child dies. Read it, mark it up and share it with others.
Writer Fox has taken a personal tragedy and turned it into not just a life changing experience but one filled with memory, hope and positive behavior. Fox today writes, attends seminars both as a speaker and as an attendee, has started a support group for parents in her local area and has embraced the new normal of her life as a parents whose child is no longer living.
I found Sandy Fox’ Creating a New Normal…After the Death of a Child to be a highly readable work, filled with many important techniques and methods for dealing with the one thing no parent wants to face as well as what to expect from grief itself. Fox fills an important niche in the informational wealth available to us today; child rearing books abound, as do those meant to guide newly weds into marriage which will last.
In a nation filled with self help and furthering understanding there is a notable lack of material available to those facing loss. Sandy Fox’ Creating a New Normal…After the Death of a Child helps fill that gap well.
Happy to recommend Sandy Fox’ powerfully written, well executed Creating a New Normal…After the Death of a Child for those who may be grieving that loss, for counselors, therapists, friends of the bereaved and those who don’t have the circumstance in their own life, but feel they would not be well equipped to face the situation were it to appear.