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Evan D Bollinger

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Member Since: Apr, 2012

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Shit Ain't Perfect
by Evan D Bollinger   

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Books by Evan D Bollinger
· The Followers
· Somethin Sickly Comes Around
· A Parade of Clowns
· Words Kill Me
· Parking Lot Kings
                >> View all

Category: 

Action/Thriller

ISBN-10:  B006ZCBYP2 Type: 
Pages: 

363


Fiction

A bundle of absurdities and scathing observations--and a whole lot of undeniable human truth.

Download to your Kindle (eBook)
Amazon

Absurd, objectionable, and utterly unmerited.

For those who dare, take a peek inside. You'll find:

Shocking truths of race and gender. Unorthodox advice for overcoming stress. How to deconstruct personality types like Dr. Phil. How to deal with a dead-end job and pain-in-the-ass boss. How to decipher body language like a CIA operative...

And a million other twisted perspectives on the economy, porn, coping, war, gods, serial killers, self-worth, social etiquette, and what it is to be undeniably human.

Recommended for ANYBODY who has the talons and tenacity to be true to oneself.

Otherwise, go cry to your stinkin relatives.


Excerpt

I've spent many hours in bars. Usually with my brethren, usually not making many moves on the women nearby. But that's okay. Because I'm a people-watcher (and I need to rationalize my passivity somehow). Anywho, the occasions have served as opportunities for observation. And I've taken full advantage. Typically, you'll see one or more of the following at bars, and by noting them and understanding them, you will hopefully dramatically improve your chances. Ladies, I will try not to be chauvinistic. Men, I will try to respect the ladies. So here goes, in no particular order, many different types that can and do overlap in the Bar Scene Typology:


1) THE BLOODHOUNDS: That's right, we've all seen 'em. And they've all seen us. Well, SMELLED us, more like it. THE BLOODHOUNDS are the guys that constantly have their sexdars turned to overload. They've got the crosshairs on anything with female organs. You might see them briefing from a distance, and then they swoop in, pack mentality on full display, cornering the hapless target.


These are the guys who surround an attractive girl at the bar from all conceivable angles, overworking her, throwing highly effective one-liners such as, "Your eyes are like moonlight," or, wasting no time, "Top or bottom, your pick." You see, because THE BLOODHOUNDS have no conception of failure, they will continue to come on strong, ignoring all signals that the female is disinterested, focused solely on her swath of flesh and scent of perfume.


They will only stop when the woman flees or a friend frees her from their clutches. In these cases, THE BLOODHOUNDS will indiscriminately locate other targets.


Now, in rare cases there are female BLOODHOUNDS. But more often than not, their desperation is even more unappealing than their male counterparts'. If they happen to be hot and horny, consider yourself extremely lucky, gentlemen.


2) The LONE WOLF: The LONE WOLF is everywhere. And if this persona is executed correctly, it can reap countless benefits. In males, the LONE WOLF typically occupies several forms. It may be a guy sitting with his rum and coke at a table or at the bar, or simply standing, leaning against something, his eyes scanning the scene for prospects. Now, in most cases the LONE WOLF is not a pedophile. So that's good.




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