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Based on a true story, my story!!!
I was touched at a young age.
I still don’t know how I can live with this pain,
But I still love this man.
I suffered through the most precious years of my life.
Trying to find my way and do what was right,
But all I could see was the pain inside.
Holding in tears that damaged pride,
Crying day in and day out as the world passed me by.
No one knew of all this pain and hurt I had inside
As I did things out of anger or just because I thought I could.
I even did shit ‘cause I thought it would make me feel good.
I didn’t have the guidance I needed to make it through another day,
Didn’t even have the courage to pray and say what my heart really wanted to say.
So, here I am, still lost and trying to find my way,
But, through it all, I must stand.
Never again will I be touched by another man.
Chapter 1: Jewels’ Confession
“Mama, please, don’t make me go back there!” Jewels pleaded.
“Go where, baby?” Shelia asked her daughter.
“My daddy’s house,” Jewels answered as tears fell from her eyes.
She looked at her mother, but the words wouldn’t come out. Shelia opened the car door for her daughter, but she didn’t force her to talk under the condition she was in. All kinds of thoughts were going through Shelia’s head as she drove down Martin Luther King Jr. Drive, towards their apartment. Shelia glanced at Jewels every now and then to make sure she was okay. It had been a while since Jewels had lived with her mother. Shelia was in the process of getting her life back on track after having been strung out on drugs. Shelia had made the decision to let Jewels stay with her father until things got better for her. She was now in her second year of being clean and sober, so getting her babies back was the next thing on her list of things to do. Drugs had consumed her life at one point, but Shelia was now a perfect example of someone who had overcome her addiction. She was showing the world that only the strong survived.
Pulling up to their apartment, Jewels followed Shelia’s lead but took slow strides with her head hanging down. Shelia grabbed Jewels’ chin, forcing her to look up, and said, “Baby, hold your head up.”
Now headed up the stairs, Shelia noticed that Jewels had stopped walking. She thought she’d heard her say something.
“Mama, he rapped me, and I don’t want to live with him anymore. Please, can I come back to live with you now?” Jewels said.
Shelia felt as if her legs were about to give out, so she held on to the rail of the stairs. She could see the pain in her daughter’s eyes and knew she wasn’t lying. Her hands shook as she attempted to make it up the stairs to unlock the door. Jewels was crying, trying to think of a way to tell her mother how her daddy had raped her. She was eight years old when it had happened, too young to understand anything. Having to hold this secret for four years had damn near killed her, but this was the perfect time to tell her mama what had taken place. They both cried as Jewels poured her heart out to her mother. The next day, Shelia took Jewels to the doctor for a full check-up. This was the beginning of a long journey.