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Aliens from the planet Fem have decided that as compassionate citizens of the galaxy they have a duty to alleviate suffering and affliction from the rest of the galaxy.
In the majority of cases this will involve sharing their unprecedented prosperity and quality of life with those planets less fortunate than themselves. Of course, in a minority of extreme cases this will also involve eliminating life from those planets in the galaxy where the level of suffering is simply too great to alleviate.
Unfortunately for Earth, the Femlings have deemed us one such planet...
“Look, man. Calm down, you daft fool. I promise you, man … we’ve got no intentions of doing an anal probe on you. Why would we fly halfway across the galaxy to visit a different civilisation, and then when we get here, like, we go, ‘Hmm, how shall we interact with this new civilisation? I know! We’ll stick things up their bum!’ You’re proper mental, you, man.”