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Infinite source publishing
drama,humour,heartache and triumph!
Facing diversity from every angle, Ebony experienced and witnessed things no child should. With a crack addicted mother, an incarcerated father and a devoutly Christian grandmother—whose disdain for her could not go unnoticed—there was never anyone to protect her. From sexual and physical abuse to rape and spousal abuse as an adult, Ebony has endured too much pain for far too many years. After narrowly escaping an abusive boyfriend, protecting her son and getting her life on track is her main priority. Will Ebony find happiness and the peace she deserves or will she remain a victim of her past?
Let Ebony take you on her journey to mental freedom.
Who am I you ask? My name is Ebony Denise Brown but most folks call me "E". Welcome to my world; come and take a walk in my shoes for a day. It's a long journey; I hope you're ready...
Chauncey walked into the bedroom where we were and asked if he could play Barbie’s with us. We told him yes of course I mean how did we know that he was sick minded?
“I wanna play a different kind a Barbie’s.” He said while looking only at me.
I frowned and asked,
“How”? He asked my sister and brother to go and watch television in the living room. Confused, they walked out closing the door behind them.
“ I’ll be ken and you be Barbie.” He whispered softly in my ear.
I could feel his hot stinky breath on my lobe.
“Okay.” I said. “How do we play it”?
He laid me down on the bed climbed on top of me. And started grinding, his growing pressed against my pelvis.
“I don’t wanna play any more”. I whined.
“Shh it won’t hurt, Barbie like it when Ken do dis to her.” He lied. I tried getting him to get up but he wouldn’t.
After raising my nightgown up to my waist he took two of his fingers slid my panties to the side and rammed them into my innocence. With tears flowing I begged for him to stop and said that I didn’t like the game he created, It was as if he blacked out he repeatedly pushed his fingers in and out of my private I screamed because his nails were long and sharp it felt like he was ripping apart my insides.
My siblings ran in the room and saw what was happening, they began crying and begging for him to get up. After realizing that he wouldn’t be able to penetrate me successfully he got up.
I was in complete shock not able to say anything. He grabbed my hand and said.
“Don’t ever say nothing ‘bout dis, I'll get you whateva' you want you’ll have more den yo sista's and brotha's if you don’t say nothing'”.
Although I knew that it was wrong for an uncle to do what he did to me I agreed to keep quiet because I was afraid of the outcome.
Weeks went by and he hadn’t done a thing for me, I wanted to bring it up but I just tried to forget about it.
My dad was in and out of the house he never suspected anything.
When Chauncey continued to come over I made it my business to stay as far away from him as I could.
Whenever he was around I wanted so badly to tell my dad.
I kept quiet all the way up until dad’s side of the family all decided to meet at Viola mama’s house a month later.
She’s my great great grandmother very pretty, extremely light complexion almost Caucasian color silver gray hair and dark brown eyes beautiful in spirit; today she is 96 years old.
The family was having dinner when I was playing with one of my older cousins outside; Chauncey came outside as well not in my company but to smoke a cigarette. That’s when I felt it was time.
My little sister and brother never spoke a word of it after the day it happened but I can tell they were just as bothered by it as I was.
“If I tell you somethin’ do you promise not to tell?” I asked my cousin Deidre once Chauncey walked back into the house.
“Tell me what”? She asked.
“Just promise? “I said.
“Okay, I promise.” She sighed obviously not to anxious to hear my big secret.
I took a deep breath and looked around before continuing.
“Uncle Chauncey did somethin’ bad to me”. I said with my voice almost unheard from its whisper.
She frowned and stood closer to me.
“Somethin' like what”? She asked with the same whisper.
“He put his fingers in my stuff and cut me, he wouldn’t get up”. I told her while pointing at my private area with nervousness written all over my face and tears burning my eyes.
“What?” She yelled.
“Shh I don’t want nobody ta know”. I quickly responded. “Let me finish”. I continued. She stared at me in amazement as I continued my horror story.
“Oh my God, you didn’t tell yo daddy”? She asked.
“No”. I replied with my head low.
“Why not”? She asked sounding a little disturbed by the whole thing.
“Cause I didn’t wanna start no trouble”. I replied with my head still hanging low.
“I’m sorry this happened to you E don’t worry he gone get his”. She told me giving me a nudge in my arm.
“Lets go back in ta get some cake.”
“Please don’t say nothin’ Deidre promise me,” I told her.
“I won’t dang.” She replied not even looking me in the eye.
We went back into the house and before I knew it she had already told my secret to one of the family members. It traveled around the house until it finally reached my dads ears.
“Ebony lemme talk to you outside” He said.
I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. As I was walking out, I looked over my shoulder at my cousin she turned away. How could she do this to me? She promised. I thought to myself.
“Tell me what happened with Chauncey at the house,” He said.
Biting my nails and shaking tremendously I looked around and said
“He put his fingers in my private”.
“Where was yo sista' and brotha' at”? He asked.
“They was in the living’ room”. I replied my voice cracking out of fear.
“Hold on let me go get Camille”. He said before walking back into the house.
The two of them came outside she was staring at me with a blank look on her face.
“Camille did you see what yo uncle Chauncey did to yo sista”? He asked. She looked at me first and then the ground.
“Yes”. She replied softly.
“What happened, what you see”?
“He was on top a her and she was cryin”. She replied.
Dad told her to go back inside.
“Tell me what exactly happened baby”. He said to me. I started crying and continued telling him the whole story. I hated having to repeat it over and over again but in a very small way I was happy that he was willing to hear my cry. He was very angry.
“I’m a kill em”! He growled. “Get back inside E”!
He ran in the house and called Chauncey outside to talk with him, by the time I stepped back outside to see what had the family all rowed up dad had Chauncey by the throat threatening his life.
“If you eva' touch my daughter again or any of my kids I'll kill you”! He blared and growled in Chauncey’s face with fury in his eyes and veins popping out of his arms neck and forehead.
“Bro I swear man, I'll be out of yo lives for good, just lemme go”. Chauncey pleaded.
I was relieved that he never denied committing the crime but was he going to do the time?
My dad finally calmed down and let him go. Chauncey grabbed his things and left I didn’t see him for several months after. I really didn’t mean for that to happen the way that it did. Honestly, was there even a better way to go about it?...