Living Between The Tracks
Living Between The Tracks
This book is a memoir about my life as a child and adult. It talks about life situations I encurrd and includes short stories, poems,and prose.
My name is Kay and “Living between the Tracks” is about my life as a child and an adult. At age nine, an incident separated my younger brothers and me from our mother and created a division between mother and her only sister who ended up raising us.
As the oldest child in my aunt’s home, I learned many lessons on my own. It was easier to write about some of those lessons than talk about them because I was very shy. Some of the lessons changed my life, way of thinking, and taught me lessons only life teaches.
At age sixteen, I learned I had what some called the “gift of dreams”. That so-called gift turned out being premonitions of violent family deaths accompanied by paranormal events that lasted years.
A few years ago after going through some other life-changing experiences, I found some of my old writings. Re-reading them revived many memories and helped me understand things I had not before. Those un-mailed letters, notes, poems, and short stories prompted me to start writing again and helped heal some old hurts.
My initial thought was to complete my memoir for my oldest brother who grew up apart from us. I also wanted my children and brothers children to know about our lives. Some of them were given copies of what had been written and they encouraged me to share my story with others.
“Living between the Tracks” is not only about my life, it is about others with which I had personal relationships. If they had not been in my life, certain decisions I made may not have occurred.
It is very likely I would not have met some of the people after them who also had stories to tell. Some of their stories are included because many could not tell their own stories for various reasons.
Reading about my life, you will learn I have encountered numerous losses of life and some of love. Some of it was very public, involved family, and sometimes in the news.
Some of the entries will make you laugh and others make you cry as I did while writing them. Fortunately, time is a great healer and I have overcome many disappointments and hurts. My hope is readers take from my story feelings of determination, forgiveness, and lessons learned vicariously because those experiences made me stronger.
I have always felt some experiences were inescapable, but only recently started looking at them differently. This happened while reading my ex-pastor's book where he made a very interesting point. To paraphrase what he said, “our experiences are important, but how we handle them is more important".
In saying and believing that, I hope sharing my story helps not only my family, but others as well. If nothing else, hopefully my story prompts readers to consider those different from themselves, and remember the things we all do early… ...affects our lives later.
They tell me our lives are planned before we leave our mother's womb, perhaps that is true and just maybe that is also the reason things don't always turnout the way we plan them.
Do you know if life is predestined or not? I certainly don’t!!!! However I do know a few things such as try as we may; we cannot change the forces to be. In addition many of us have a tendency to suppress things that sadden us and remember what makes us happy.….until those incidents reoccur.
This is why I believe we women continue going into similar situations with different men and many times stay with the same men in unhealthy relationships. These beliefs lead me to wonder if living with life’s discomforts have become lifestyles too many of us have become accustomed to…… and satisfied with. Could it be we refuse to acknowledge this as fact because it’s too painful? Have we through acceptance of some situations and denial of others… unwittingly stopped loving ourselves…. and started loving others more?
The longer I live the more my belief grows that the adult relationships we find ourselves in are results of what we children learned through parent figures. As young adults we all came away with many feelings and thoughts. Some were positive while others were not and those holding on to the negatives now have what is otherwise known as baggage. Many may deny this but if we look back at our lives we would have to acknowledge we all have baggage.
When hearing stories about our youth creating havoc on others and sometimes themselves; it makes me wonder who they are actually visualizing. I also wonder how many of those serving in particular fields, do so to legally grind their axes.
Sadly it is a fact the attitudes affecting our youth are not simply confined to them. Many older adults are harboring hurts and insecurities that would otherwise get out of hand, and the one thing that quiets those impulses is the fear of consequences.
I believe the baggage we bring to relationships is the result of how we were raised, and our perceptions about those upbringings real….. or imagined govern our lives. Certainly various events occurred during those youthful years, but for the most part those caring for children attempted to do the best they could.
Of course there have always been exceptions, but even with those exceptions we still have choices… once we’ve learned what they are.