a man on a date is suddenly held at gun point by his date who is robbing him
A man on his first date with a beautiful woman is surprised when she pulls a gun and demands his wallet and his cash. But he’s spent what cash he had on him to buy dinner and after she shots out the windows of a car next to him he has to scramble to keep getting shot until he can hopefully turn the tables on the beautiful robber.
WHAT? NO SECOND DATE? By Cliff Popkey
It was a gun, all silver and shiny! I wasn’t expecting to see one here, I mean, after all it was only our first date and most women don’t threaten to kill me until the third date. And yet, there it was pointing directly at me.
“What’s with the gun?” I asked as I stared directly at it. “Was the dinner conversation, not up to your usual standards?”
The gun looked to be a .32 or maybe a .22 caliber. It was small. It fit snuggly in her hands. Women typically have small hands and it was made for someone with small hands. I doubted I could fit my finger inside the trigger guard, let alone pull the trigger.
“Give me your wallet, Romeo,” Tania demanded.
Her quiet demur persona was completely discarded now that we were in my car. I was dumbfounded. I just couldn’t comprehend that my date was now robbing me at gun point. This was a first for me. Most of my dates simply end with a quick kiss and an insincere promise to date in the future, but robbery? My mind immediately went to that bad TV show Punk’d, and I wondered if this was a joke.
Looking at her I was stunned to say the least. She was a truly beautiful brunet with long legs and a great smile. She was wearing a form fitting dress which left little to the imagination. No, she wasn’t the armed robbery type. She was more the rip your heart out type.
“Shut up and hand it over. Don’t make me shoot you,” Tania threatened.
“Do you shoot people often? I mean, I ahhh… on the first date?” I stammered.
“Shut up and give me your wallet, NOW!” Tania growled, as her face got red and her eyes took on a menacing glare.
I just couldn’t believe that this gorgeous babe was robbing me, especially since we just had diner together and enjoyed a nice dry white wine for desert.
As I struggled to get my wallet out of my back pocket, I asked,
“So, what? You accept dates, so you can rob the guy after dinner?”
“Something like, that.” She answered smugly. “Hurry up!”
“And here, I thought we had some chemistry.”
“Oh please, take a good look at yourself and a good look at me. Do you really think there could be chemistry between us? Please, you’re so far beneath me.” She delivered the cut with the practiced skill of a surgeon. She had a point though, I am an almost in shape guy with less than perfect hair, an ok smile and plain to average looks. But I do have big hands, really big hands.
“It’s nice to know that you have such healthy self esteem.” I stated as I managed to extricate the wallet finally and sat there holding it.
“Give me the wallet. Nice and easy or I’ll blow a hole thru you!” Tania snarled, but it was hard to accept that this super babe was also a stone cold criminal.
I know I keep repeating that thought, but it’s just too incredible. Hell, with most men, all she’d have to do to get their wallet was bat her eyes, while slipping her arm in theirs and asking for it. Most men would gladly do whatever she asked, me included. She didn’t need a gun, not as long as she had that body, that face and that smile.
“There’s no money in it.” I said as I handed it to her, nice and easy as instructed. I certainly didn’t want a hole blown thru me.
“There has to be. I know this restaurant isn’t cheap and I saw you pay with cash.” Tania stated curtly as she opened the wallet and stared into it.
Then she asked, “What the hell is this?” she suddenly raised the gun to shoulder height, dropping the wallet and grabbing the gun with both hands to steady her aim, as if shooting me from a foot away was a difficult shot.
“Well?” she growled.
“I…I told you, I don’t have any cash.”
“Where’s the money?”
“I brought just enough to cover dinner and a tip. I had planned on stopping at an ATM, if the night managed to stretch into extra innings, so to speak.” I liked the fact that I used a baseball analogy; it showed her I was multifaceted. I’d used a football analogy earlier in the evening and it had seemed to impress her. Maybe now she’d see just how cool I was at gun point and her opinion of me might improve.
“Look jerk! I have a gun and I’m going to shoot you in two minutes if you don’t produce some cash. Now where is it?” So much for an improved image, she was starting to scare me now. I could tell her patience was running out and she was starting to get irate, because there was spittle dribbling out of the corner of her mouth, kind of like a rabid dog.
“Hey, you should have mentioned something about my needing extra cash, for the after the date robbery when we were planning the date or before we left the restaurant. There was an ATM inside the front door next to the coat check.”
She fired the gun. Luckily, I’d opened the window when we first got in the car; thinking with it being such a warm night, the fresh air would do us good. As it turned out, it saved me the cost of a window, but the Lexus parked next to me; well, it would not only, need a passenger side window but a driver’s side window as well. The bullet went clean through both windows, shattering them. It made one of those cool spider web designs that safety glass is famous for in each window. Then the bullet impacted in the brick wall on the far side of it, leaving a black circular scar in the brick at the point of impact.
“Damn,” I said as I took a look at the Lexus, “they’re going to be really pissed when they come out and find their windows blown out. Are you going to rob them as well?”
“I won’t miss the next time” Tania slurred through her clinched teeth.
“I believe you. It’s just there isn’t any way I can get you any money, unless we go to an ATM.” I explained the problem as succinctly as I could to her and she sat there staring at me, while her whole body trembled with what I believed was a combination of frustration and rage. I guess her other dates were more prepared than I was to facilitate their being robbed by her. So much for dinner, drinks and a quick getaway.
Finally she spoke, “Alright, start the car and drive to an ATM.”
“But there’s one right inside the door of restaurant. Wouldn’t it be quicker to just to go inside and get some cash?” I suggested as an alternative to driving around in a strange neighborhood trying to find an ATM. Plus it would provide me with the opportunity to maybe draw attention to myself and turn the tables on her.
“I said drive, damn you! Drive!” she was becoming downright uncivil. I knew from the look on her face she had the same thought about the ATM inside the restaurant that I had and she wasn’t about to give me that opportunity.
I backed the car out of the spot and quickly exited the parking lot, turning right and driving to the end of the block where I stopped at the traffic light, which was red. While waiting for the light to change, I asked,
“Do you know where there is an ATM around here?”
“What?” she asked with a puzzle look on her face.
“I’ve never been in this neighborhood before and I don’t know where an ATM is? Do you?” I lied of course, I mean wouldn’t you? I was being held at point and yet she expected me to take her to an ATM so she could rob my bank account? I’m a nice guy, but there are limits.
“How should I know? You’re the man, find one!” she demanded, so I turned left.
I knew this would lead us into the warehouse district, the opposite direction of the nearest bank. After a few minutes of turning this way and that way, each street leading us further into the warehouse district, she ordered me to pull over.
“Get out of the car!” she screamed the moment I stopped.
“Wait a minute!” I protested. “This is a dangerous neighborhood. If there’s anybody around, they’re up to no good and they’ll probably mug me.”