After a turbulent childhood filled with traumatic events, including the death of his parents, Nathan Daniels downward spiraled into hopeless despair and thoughts of suicide. Orphaned and homeless, he miraculously clawed his way out of the bottom of the barrel and lived a relatively normal life for nearly five years before he felt himself starting to slip into a familiar darkness. A cycle had begun that would continue to repeat itself throughout his life with ever-growing intensity and threats.
Surviving the Fourth Cycle swings pendulously back and forth between two stories that ultimately bleed into one...
You will experience the author's most recent battle with mental illness through raw and honest journal entries that give you a rare "fly on the wall" perspective from a truly haunted mind. At the same time, Nathan rips his closet door off its hinges and lets all the skeletons come rattling out through a series of writings that are, in essence, the chapters of his life. You are in for a bumpy ride as he picks through the bones in these extremely personal essays that examine the intense relationships and experiences that have led to both his struggle to function in society, and his ability to persevere.
"The building was foreboding and seemed bigger than should be possible. I crossed the street staring at the front entrance, my vision a kaleidoscope, twisting and turning everything I saw into colorful bursts. I slipped two more Xanax into my mouth, felt my heart start kicking hard in my chest, and walked up the front steps to the church with dream-like difficulty as if I were knee deep in quicksand.
I walked through the doorway, a hungry mouth looking to eat me up, and I started sweating. There was too much open space and my eyes began playing tricks on me as everything in my peripheral vision began melting away.
The sunlight crashed through the stained glass windows and sent colors flying through the air before me. The notes from the monstrous pipe organ stomped on me and made me wince. Voices became hostile and gained weight inside my head forcing me to brace myself. It was an angry choir yelling and screaming at me as I resisted the urge to take flight from the holy nightmare."