Join Free! | Login 

   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: RM DAmato, iJoyce Scarbrough, iAlfred Schwab, iByron Edgington, iPatricia Sanders, ijude forese, iGwendolyn Thomas Gath, i
  Home > Psychology > Books

Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry   

Sam Vaknin

  + Follow Me   

· 441 titles
· 112 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
Member Since: Jul, 2000

   Contact Author
   Message Board
   Read Reviews

· FREE A Critique of Piketty's Capital in the Twenty-first Century [

· FREE DOWNLOAD The Death of Sex and the Demise of Monogamy

· FREE DOWNLOAD Short Fiction About Narcissism And Mental Health

· FREE DOWNLOAD Speculations and Physics

· FREE DOWNLOAD Essays on God and Freud

· FREE DOWNLOAD Macedonia: A Nation at a Crossroads

· FREE DOWNLOAD Healthcare Reform Checklist

· FREE DOWNLOAD The Facts and Fictions of the Securities Industry

· FREE DOWNLOAD Abuse, Trauma, and Torture - Their Consequences and Effects

· FREE DOWNLOAD From Alexander to Obama Narcissistic and Psychopathic Leaders

Short Stories
· Nedís Short Life

· Sexsomnia

· Fugue

· The Galatea of Cotard

· Live Burial

· Lucid Dreams

· A Dream Come True

· Anton's Trap

· The Elephant's Call

· Night Terror

· The Narcissist's Seriously Ill child and Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome

· The Narcissist's Disabled and Challenged Children

· Network vs. Hierarchy as Organizing Principles in Business and the Economy

· Macedonia National and University Libraryís Digital Revolution

· The Narcissist in Custody Battles

· FBI Warns: Google Used by Malicious Hackers

· Israelís Brinkmanship: after the Elections in 2015

· ECB (European Central Bank) vs. Bundesbank (Germany)

· The Eurozone's Greek Future

· Live and Let Die: The West's Perennial Error of Picking Sides

· Her Birthday

· Hebrew Love

· My Putrid Lover

· Twinkle Star

· Synthetic Joy

· Our Love Alivid

· The Miracle of the Kisses

· Selfdream

· In Moist Propinquity

· A Hundred Children

         More poetry...
· FREE E-BOOK Abuse, Trauma, and Torture - Their Consequences and Effects

· FREE E-BOOK Narcissistic and Psychopathic Leaders

· FREE EBOOK The Hitler File (Excerpts)

· NEW eBOOK Excerpts from the Archives and Case Studies

· EIGHTH EDITION - Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited

· NEW BOOK - After the Rain - How the West Lost the East

· NEW EBOOK Personality Disorders Revisited

Sam Vaknin, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.
Books by Sam Vaknin

  Read Free Preview!



Publisher:  Narcissus Publications ISBN-10:  9989929327 Type:  Non-Fiction


Copyright:  Nov 1, 2005

Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited
After the Rain - How the West Lost the East
Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited

The anatomy of a mental illness - its origins, its unfolding, its outcomes.

Journal Entries about Narcissism

(Click on the blue-coloured titles to access the ENTRIES):

Click HERE to Download Poetry and Fiction in English!

How I "Became" a Narcissist (The Genesis of Narcissism)

My Woman and I (Narcissists and Women)

Narcissist, the Machine (The Narcissist's Self-Image)

The Narcissist is Looking for a Family

The Magic of My Thinking (Narcissism and Magical Thinking)

The Music of My Emotions (Narcissism and Emotions)

I Love to be Hated (Narcissism and Masochism)

Grandiosity Deconstructed (Narcissism and Grandiosity)

The Entitlement of Routine (Narcissism and Entitlement)

Wasted Lives (Narcissism and Self-Defeat)

The Split Narcissist (Narcissism, False and True Selves)

The Anxiety of Boredom (Narcissism and Anxiety)

A Great Admiration (Narcissism and Grandiose Fantasies)

The Narcissist in Love (Narcissism and Love)

Why do I Write Poetry? (Narcissism and Repressed Emotions)

The Sad Dreams of the Narcissist (Narcissism and Dysphorias)

The Lonely Narcissist (Narcissism and Schizoid Traits)

The Green Eyed Narcissist (Narcissism, Jealousy, and Envy)

The Discontinuous Narcissist (Narcissism and Dissociation)

Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hide (Somatic vs. Cerebral Narcissists)

Portrait of the Narcissist as a Young Man

Pseudologica Fantastica (Narcissism and Compulsive Lying)

I Cannot Forgive (The Narcissist as Predator)

The Ghost in the Machine (Narcissism and Rootlessness)

That Thing Between a (Narcissistic) Man and a Woman

The Malignant Optimism of the Abused (Victims of Narcissists)

No One Counts to Ten (Narcissism and Defiance of Authority)

The Ubiquitous Narcissist (Narcissism and Omnipresence)

The Disappearance of the Witnesses (Narcissistic Reflection)

Physique Dysmorphique (Narcissism and Body Dysmorphic Disorders)

Being There (Narcissism and Selective Memory)

Other People's Pain (Narcissism, Sadism, and Masochism)

The Weapon of Language (Narcissists and Language)

Studying my Death (Narcissism and Mortality)

Beware the Children (Narcissists and Children)

It is My World, Who are You? (Narcissism and Omnipotence)

Conspicuous Existence (Narcissism and Omnipresence)

The Self-Deprecating Narcissist (Narcissism and Sense of Humor)

The Selfish Gene

The Genetic Underpinnings of Narcissism

The Silver Pieces of the Narcissist (Narcissists and Money)

A Holiday Grudge (Narcissists and Happiness)

Ideas of Reference (Narcissism and Paranoia)

The Delusional Way Out (Narcissists and Deficient Narcissistic Supply)

For the Love of God (Narcissism and Religion)

The Opaque Mirror (Narcissism and Reality)

Narcissistic Routines (Narcissism and Compulsive Acts)

Pathological Narcissism - A Dysfunction or a Blessing?

The Losses of the Narcissist (Narcissism and Self-Destruction)

Transformations of Aggression (Narcissism, Rage, Envy)

Chronos and Narcissus (Narcissists and their Protégés)

The Labors of the Narcissist (Narcissism in the Workplace)

The Objects of the Narcissist (Narcissism and the Inanimate)

To Age with Grace (Narcissism in Old Age)

 Narcissism - Discussing Various Issues

Grandiosity Hangover and Narcissistic Baiting

The Energy of Self (Narcissism and Mental Energy)

Whistling in the Dark (Narcissism and the Grandiosity Gap)

The Embarrassing Narcissist (Narcissism is Laughable)

Narcissism, Grandiosity and Intimacy - The Roots of Paranoia

Losing for Granted (Narcissism, Losses, and Life Crises)

Facilitating Narcissism (Narcissism and Social Skills)

Telling Them Apart (How to Recognize a Narcissist)

The Adrenaline Junkie (Narcissism as a Thrill Ride)

Narcissism and Evil

Narcissism, Substance Abuse, and Reckless Behaviors

The Cyber Narcissist (Narcissists on the Internet)

Abusing the Gullible Narcissist

The Two Loves of the Narcissist

The Professions of the Narcissist

Misdiagnosing Narcissism - The Bipolar I Disorder

Misdiagnosing Narcissism - Asperger's Disorder

Misdiagnosing Narcissism - Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Acquired Situational Narcissism

The Narcissist's Reality Substitutes

The Narcissist's Confabulated Life

Narcissism - From Abuse to Suicide

The Narcissist's Object Constancy

Back to La-la Land (Giving the Narcissist a Second Chance)

The Cult of the Narcissist (The Narcissist as Guru)

The Narcissist's Time

The Misanthropic Altruist (Philanthropy as Sadistic Narcissism)

Grandiosity Bubbles (Temporary Narcissistic Outbreak)

The Depressive Narcissist (Narcissism, Depression, and Dysphoria)

The Enigma of Normal People (Narcissists and Social Cues)

Dr. Watson and Mr. Hastings (The Narcissist and His Friends)

The Intermittent Explosive Narcissist (Narcissistic Injury and Rage)

The Narcissism of Differences Big and Small

Inner Dialog, Cognitive Deficits, and Introjects in Narcissism

The Prodigy as Narcissistic Injury

Indifference and Decompensation (as forms of Narcissistic Aggression)

Narcissism, Psychosis, and Delusions

The Narcissist as Eternal Child

Idealization, Grandiosity, Cathexis, and Narcissistic Progress

The Narcissist's Inner Judge (Superego and Narcissistic Defenses)

The Pathological Charmer

The Compulsive Giver


How I "Became" a Narcissist

By: Sam Vaknin

I remember the day I died. Almost did. We were in a tour of Jerusalem.
Our guide was the Deputy Chief Warden. We wore our Sunday best suits - stained dark blue, abrasive jeans shirts tucked in tattered trousers. I could think of nothing but Nomi. She left me two months after my incarceration. She said that my brain did not excite her as it used to.

We were sitting on what passed as a grassy knoll in prison and she was marble cold and firm. This is why, during the trip to Jerusalem, I planned to grab the Warden's gun and kill myself.

Death has an asphyxiating, all-pervasive presence and I could hardly breathe. It passed and I knew that I had to find out real quick what was wrong with me - or else.

How I obtained access to psychology books and to internet from the inside of one of Israel's more notorious jails, is a story unto itself.
In this film noire, this search of my dark self, I had very little to go on, no clues and no Della Street by my side. I had to let go - yet I never did and did not know how.

I forced myself to remember, threatened by the immanent presence of the Grim Reaper. I fluctuated between shattering flashbacks and despair. I wrote cathartic short fiction. I published it. I remember holding myself, white knuckles clasping an aluminum sink, about to throw up as I am flooded with images of violence between my parents, images that I repressed to oblivion. I cried a lot, uncontrollably, convulsively, gazing through tearful veils at the monochrome screen.

The exact moment I found a description of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder is etched in my mind. I felt engulfed in word-amber, encapsulated and frozen. It was suddenly very quiet and very still. I met myself. I saw the enemy and it was I.

The article was long winded and full of references to scholars I never heard of before: Kernberg, Kohut, Klein. It was a foreign language that resounded, like a forgotten childhood memory. It was I to the last repellent details, described in uncanny accuracy: grandiose fantasies of brilliance and perfection, sense of entitlement without commensurate achievements, rage, exploitation of others, lack of empathy.

I had to learn more. I knew I had the answer. All I had to do was find the right questions.

That day was miraculous. Many strange and wonderful things happened. I saw people - I SAW them. And I had a glimmer of understanding regarding my self - this disturbed, sad, neglected, insecure and ludicrous things that passed for me.

It was the first important realization - there were two of us. I was not alone inside my body.

One was an extrovert, facile, gregarious, attention-consuming, adulation-dependent, charming, ruthless and manic-depressive being. The other was schizoid, shy, dependent, phobic, suspicious, pessimistic, dysphoric and helpless creature - a kid, really.

I began to observe these two alternating. The first (whom I called Ninko Leumas - an anagram of the Hebrew spelling of my name) would invariably appear to interact with people. It didn't feel like putting a mask on or like I had another personality. It was just like I am MORE me. It was a caricature of the TRUE me, of Shmuel.

Shmuel hated people. He felt inferior, physically repulsive and socially incompetent. Ninko also hated people. He held tham in contempt. THEY were infoerior to his superior qualities and skills. He needed their admiration but he resented this fact and he accepted their offerings codescendingly.

As I pieced my fragmented and immature self together I began to see that Shmuel and Ninko were flip sides of the SAME coin. Ninko seemed to be trying to compensate Shmuel, to protect him, to isolate him from hurt and to exact revenge whenever he failed. At this stage I was not sure who was manipulating who and I did not have the most rudimentary acquaintance with this vastly rich continent I discovered inside me.

But that was only the beginning.

Want to review or comment on this book?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Popular Psychology Books
  1. Abuse: An Encyclopedia of Causes, Conseque
  2. Abuse: An Encyclopedia of Causes, Conseque
  3. The Crazy Psychologist
  4. Going Below The Water's Edge, Past lives,

Diary of a Narcissist by Sam Vaknin

The anatomy of a mental illness - its origins, its unfolding, its outcomes. ..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.