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Tina B Tessina

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· The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart

· Money, Sex and Kids:

· How To Be a Couple and Still Be Free

· The Real Thirteenth Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve S

· The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40

· The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again

· The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make AFTER Forty

· How To Avoid Loving a Jerk

· Dear Dr. Romance: Does Friends with Benefits Work?

· Why Couples Fall out of Love

· Dr. Romance on 10 signs a guy is cheating on you

· Dear Dr. Romance: I was always wrong

· Dear Dr. Romance: I was always wrong


· Dear Dr. Romance: I'm married but I love somebody else

· Dear Dr. Romance: I have never put up with any crap until this one came alo

· Dr. Romance on The Right Way to Love

· The Shape of Peace

· Inspiration

· Eternal Dance - Christmas 2005

· On Mitch and Jackie’s engagement

· On love

· Bitter lesson

· Redemption


· Storytellers

· Vessels

         More poetry...
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Publisher:  New Page Books ISBN-10:  1564146499


Copyright:  Feb 1 2002

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Tina B. Tessina, PhD, self-help author, licensed psychotherapist
New Page Books

Each of us receives a legacy from childhood and family experience, which becomes a powerful influence, and about which we have no choice. It Ends With You shows you how to uncover your hidden legacy, change whatever is problematic, and create personal power over your own life. This book examines not just the statistics that show that children of divorce can't keep their own marriages together, or that children of alcoholics gravitate to dysfunctional partners, but why people have these problems, how they come to be, and, most importantly, what they can do to fix them.” —Dr. Tessina

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Many parents have few tools to teach their children and little knowledge of how to provide a good example. As a result, family dysfunction often runs through succeeding generations like a snowball rolling down a hill, gathering speed and power as it goes. Growing up, and learning to be responsible for yourself, is like standing at the bottom of that hill and not letting the dysfunction be passed on any further. It Ends With You.

In 25 years of counseling people in recovery, licensed psychotherapist Tina Tessina has worked with many clients struggling with similar problems-anxiety, depression, feeling out of control, relationship disasters, and a pervasive feeling that they don't know what ““normal”” is. No matter how old they are, they don't feel like they've really grown up. They never learned the confidence, self-motivation, and emotional management tools they need to live healthy, happy lives, because their families didn't provide good role models, structure, and information.

The exercises and guidelines in It Ends With You will help you finally understand what a functional family is, how its members are still affected by early experience, and how to develop the skills necessary for successful living and loving.


To grow up and out of a painful, dysfunctional past and all its leftovers – feelings, memories, pain, confusion, anger, fear, and persistent dysfunctional relationship patterns– may seem like a miracle, too wonderful to be possible. But it can be done, if you have the right tools and support. The purpose of this book is to lead you from the problems of the past into a satisfying, joyful and successful future. Most people tend to think of family legacies in terms of handed down furniture, mementos and money. But most of us actually get far larger inheritances of habits, attitudes, beliefs and patterns. These old, learned ways of thinking and acting can create chaos in your life that resembles the upheaval of the past. In nearly thirty years of psychotherapy practice, I have watched with awe as clients come to understand the power of childhood experience -- how it can affect their lives without their knowledge. As they begin to understand and challenge their early learning, they gain the confidence and understanding they need to face the lessons of life on their own terms. Once they have unlocked their inner secrets, they are able to handle whatever surprises and challenges life holds and still see the humor, the beauty and the joy of being alive. With the information and techniques in It Ends With You, you too can change your early programming and take charge of your life.

Reader Reviews for "It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction"

Reviewed by Joyce White 12/2/2008
Reviewed by Sharon Palmer 7/30/2003
I love what I've read here, and wish that Dr. Tessina had been around when I first sought help, and when I had the idiotic impression that I could CHANGE my dysfunctional family of origin. I have no children myself, but I saw my nieces being brought up in the same dysfuntional environment. Now a nephew is involved as well. While trying to help, I was branded "mentally ill" by my mother for my trouble. My family (parents especially) are scared to death of change, and accuse me of accusing THEM for "ruining" me! I'm not ruined, but I'm not happy either. Bless you, Dr. Tessina. I pray your work helps many people and their families!
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 6/10/2003
good thought provoking excerpt

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Books by
Tina B Tessina

The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make AFTER Forty

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Money, Sex and Kids:

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The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart

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It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction

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The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again

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The Real Thirteenth Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve Step Programs

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How To Be a Couple and Still Be Free

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