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Tina B. Tessina, PhD, self-help author, licensed psychotherapist
New Page Books
Each of us receives a legacy from childhood and family experience, which becomes a powerful influence, and about which we have no choice. It Ends With You shows you how to uncover your hidden legacy, change
whatever is problematic, and create personal power over your own life.
This book examines not just the statistics that show that children of divorce can't keep their own marriages together, or that children of alcoholics gravitate to dysfunctional partners, but why people have these problems, how they come to be, and, most importantly, what they can do to fix them.” —Dr. Tessina
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Many parents have few tools to teach their children and little knowledge of how to provide a good example. As a result, family dysfunction often runs through succeeding generations like a snowball rolling down a hill, gathering speed and power as it goes. Growing up, and learning to be responsible for yourself, is like standing at the bottom of that hill and not letting the dysfunction be passed on any further. It Ends With You.
In 25 years of counseling people in recovery, licensed psychotherapist Tina Tessina has worked with many clients struggling with similar problems-anxiety, depression, feeling out of control, relationship disasters, and a pervasive feeling that they don't know what normal is. No matter how old they are, they don't feel like they've really grown up. They never learned the confidence, self-motivation, and emotional management tools they need to live healthy, happy lives, because their families didn't provide good role models, structure, and information.
The exercises and guidelines in It Ends With You will help you finally understand what a functional family is, how its members are still affected by early experience, and how to develop the skills necessary for successful living and loving.
To grow up and out of a painful, dysfunctional past and all its leftovers – feelings, memories, pain, confusion, anger, fear, and persistent dysfunctional relationship patterns– may seem like a miracle, too wonderful to be possible. But it can be done, if you have the right tools and support. The purpose of this book is to lead you from the problems of the past into a satisfying, joyful and successful future.
Most people tend to think of family legacies in terms of handed down furniture, mementos and money. But most of us actually get far larger inheritances of habits, attitudes, beliefs and patterns. These old, learned ways of thinking and acting can create chaos in your life that resembles the upheaval of the past.
In nearly thirty years of psychotherapy practice, I have watched with awe as clients come to understand the power of childhood experience -- how it can affect their lives without their knowledge. As they begin to understand and challenge their early learning, they gain the confidence and understanding they need to face the lessons of life on their own terms. Once they have unlocked their inner secrets, they are able to handle whatever surprises and challenges life holds and still see the humor, the beauty and the joy of being alive. With the information and techniques in It Ends With You, you too can change your early programming and take charge of your life.