Some stones’r real gems.
From deep in th’ mines,
They satisfy people’s whims
‘N draw cultural lines.
But other stones crystallize
In th’ kidney, whizzing along.
Yeah, you can get this prize,
From eatin’ ‘n drinkin’ wrong.
They say drink lots ‘o water
Stones won’t form in th’ kidney,
Not doin’ what I oughter,
Hear my yelp down in Sidney!
‘Cause it hurts like a blaze,
If your p-shooter’s blocked.
Your eyes, they just glaze.
Man –– like you been clocked!
What should I drink ‘n eat,
Keep the damn things at bay?
Water ‘n fluids – not to repeat –
‘N potassium citrate, they say.
Calcium’s good, milk ‘n nog,
Yogurt, some sardines’ll do.
But not much fried hog,
‘Cause salt’s sorta taboo.
Don’t want spinach in th’ diet,
‘Cause it’s got oxalate,
‘N about rhubarb be quiet,
‘Cause spinach is its mate.
Beans’r good, cocoa’s not bad,
Ricotta, provolone, ‘n swiss.
Low salt pizza’ll be my fad,
Just to take a piss!
I’m gonna be a good guy,
‘N eat only what’s right,
Juice, juice, juice I’ll buy,
Drink real hard, ‘cept at night.
Oh, no, don’t wanna be
Hospital bound, put to sleep,
Where they’ll mine me,
For nasty gems, kidney deep.
R Leland Waldrip
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