Well, it was a dark, cold, and story night the evening that I was born on Christmas day. There was a horrible sound in the distance of the hospital, and a creature born of something like pure darkness lurked, while something of light came on a bicycle--oh wait, sorry, that's not the right story, that's erm, for something else. My name is Jeffrey Clemmons, and I write books. (That's not it, the director says from behind the curtain.) I guess it's not. To begin, I've been writing since 2008, when I decided that I wanted to do what Rick Riordan did which was to enchant readers, create incredible worlds, and build a readership unlike any other. In other words, I wanted to become a full-time, bestselling writer. Now, that has yet to happen for the fact that school is kind of taking upa large portion of that time frame. Anyhow, for the longest time, or as far as I can think back. Which is pretty goddamned far, I think, it's scary to me actually. I remember some of the most minute details about my childhood; I once ate leaves, and had a strange dream about getting hit the face by a wasp; there is also the fact that I stuffed a beehive up a cats ass and slung it around the backyard, which wasn't so nice, and it scratched me real good for it too; oh and then there was that time that I took a nice dump on the patio, got a good whoppin' for it; though, I do remember one that's not so cruel or grotesque, and that was my unfathomable obsession with grabbing great wafts of paper, stapling them together and writing. The first story that I think I ever wrote was about the seasons, for books about the seasons and what you did, nothing very exciting; I did remember that I sometimes held book fairs in front of my house, Spongebob Squarepants fan-faction and fake cookbooks, because that was the stuff that you saw at book fairs in 2004 and 5, nothing great like some of the stuff that they have now.  Anyhow, that brings us to today (what is today? Sometime in March? November? Some unnamed month from teh future, or maybe it's the 4th of Thrimidge), still writing stories, though stories that are a bit longer and a bit better. I published my first actual book in 2013 called the Maze Games (for which the meager readership is waiting for the sequel; it's coming guys, it's just not coming along very fast), and I am currently working on my first dystopian novella (epic, I think it's pretty amazing) The Farm that is gritty, gory, and horrifying in every sense of the words, while also philosophically and deeply rooted with ideas that could only be touched down in such a novel as itself. Along with this, daily I'm churning out story afters story, it's almost like being high forever, and you just can't stop blabbing--there are so many stories to tell, and my fingers can only type so fast! I love to write stories about complicated, broken, and dark characters; I like to write about worlds where no one is wholly good, or wholly evil, and worlds that are dark if not darker than our world, and world where despite it's darkness, there is always light to be found in some form or fashion. I don't like happy endings, I find them to be very monotone and Disney. A real ending is one where though things came out all right, nothing is the same, there is still tension, there are still problems, and there are empty promises, stories where even after it, you can wonder what happens next even if it stands alone; endings where the ending is not the end. I also enjoy creating and inventing worlds that commentate and reflect the problems and innovations in our world, where they could lead to--how they could be our downfall, or how they could be our savior, and it's the reason I started writing dystopian novels as well as horror stories.