I'm just a refugee from the music bizz, an ol' road dawg with 30 years of worn tred, who figured out one day that the keyboard is nothin' but another sax solo. My participles dangle, my infinitives split, and i neber cud spill fer shet, but  it's been said I tell a hellova story. 

(Actually, they used a euphimism that means about the same thing).