R.D. Winfrey was born on the roof of a salami factory somewhere near Louisville, Kentucky. The last time we checked, that area was a part of the United States, although we don't know for how much longer. The circumstances leading to his birth are still shrouded in mystery and cheap vodka, but many believe it had something to do with a nearby livestock auction.
In any case, the little pug-nosed punk was dutifully raised by a flock of Canadian geese, who taught him how to fly long distances and crap on people's windshields. He was a quick learner and was found to have the intestinal fo more...
