I will always remember what my grandpappy told me. He always gave me good advice, such as "that there dot-com bubble is gonna burst, boy. Bail out while you still can."
I have also been influenced by the United States Senators from my home state, Jesse Helms and John Edwards, who warned me, "you will end up either dying on the gallows or dying of the pox." To which I replied, "that depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistresses." It turns out that this joke dates back to the eighteenth century, but I thought it was original. more...