Age was happy
once upon a delusion. . .
she paid her dues, stay’d in
her place, and work’d around
the clock as command’d
by the rule of scribes/
their know-how was not to be question’d
then something strange occur’d, and
the azure eyes of Age no longer saw
beyond the clouds of history’s pain,
Knowledge was blind’d by
temporary inconvenience veiling
the silent glow of David’s Star;
thus having nothing more to wish upon
and
finding herself abandon’d
when her future thumb’d a ride
in the mist of galactic darkness,
Age overheard Heartache, Fear and Boredom,
engaging in ménage a trois like
cyclones wrapping their tongues around
each other, spewing unclean seed
that pool’d around her festering feet;
but
unfortunately for Age, a lifetime
of precautions just was not enough;
but even though she follow’d the rules
to the most distinct letter,
there was no way to prepare for the
never-ending side effects that were
purposely left unindex’d
in her Almanac of Trust.
so
if it were possible to murmur
to the fallen moon, Age might
attempt a plea for a
secondary chance; perhaps
regaining a few of life’s untold stories
that were so cruelly snatch’d
from the grip of her weaken’d weather’d
hands, as she stares in the face of
an expir’d Reality as she
watches recollections whisk’d away
for-ever in the screaming air. . .
© 2005-2006 cynth’ya lewis reed
all rights reserv’d
Updated Revision Found Here:
http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewpoetry.asp?id=150916
After reading the revised poem above, find helpful concerned with age and losing memory at the link below:
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1."their know-how was not to be question’d
then something strange occur’d, and
the azure eyes of Age no longer saw
beyond the clouds of history’s pain,
Knowledge was blind’d by
temporary inconvenience veiling
the silent glow of David’s Star;"
2."but
unfortunately for Age, a lifetime
of precautions just was not enough;
but even though she follow’d the rules
to the most distinct letter,
there was no way to prepare for the
never-ending side effects that were
purposely left unindex’d
in her Almanac of Trust."
I think the poem would be clearly understood, if you were to clarify those two passages, thus making a cleaner connection.
I found your style to be almost lyrical. It is a good piece of writing, it just needs a little tweaking. I do that to mine ALL the time. Merry Christmas!
Carmen :-)
As a writer I pay homage to poetic license, however I also want people to draw a bit of understanding as how they see might connect with portions of writing either personally or objectively. But I can say that the photo is from a scientific journal depicting the destruction of a star in deep space. Stars are billions and billions of years old compared to our young Earth. The Word of God says we are but a vapor. While we have many roles on this earth, sometimes, because of the "AGE" we live in (personified as a female because we give birth to the Earth's inhabitants), we forget to discover ourselves while busy discovering what others expect from us. So the star quality within us is destroyed. As a result in some cases, our future of what we could become is never realized.
Hope this makes things a bit clearer. Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa. . . I've got a dinner to get to in a few minutes! Love,
cynth'ya (Time 1:56 pm EST, Dec. 25, 2005)
Please feel free to comment on both the first and second versions. When I write from within, especially at night, it's almost as if my fingers just run around the keys taking my first thoughts.
Take care,
Sherry