Keeping it real
when living with
better-than-thou brothers,
who claim to be the best lovers,
calling the kettle black
- thinking that -
they’re all that,
is like

Being Jesus’ wife.
I’m mean, damn,
ain’t nobody perfect like that,
and you’re a man like any other,
my husband and my soul
brother,
father of my children, the
love of my
life.

I’m the wife that you
promised to obey,
to cherish and to honor in
every way,
and yet you treat me like
some Bitch off the street,
as if I wasn’t the one to
clip the nails off your feet,
bust the blackheads
on your face
and shed the tears I shed
while your mind’s out
in space

Somewhere,
when you should be here
- not out there -
with me and the children,
concentrating on making a living
in the here and now,
don’t nobody need that much
schooling anyhow,
just a job and a house
would bring me some peace,
give my fears some release,
from constant worry and
dread.

I may be crazy in
the head, I know,
I scream and shout sometimes,
going with the flow
of my emotions:
they carry me away,
my intuition tells me the
time of day,
I know the truth behind your words,
my suspicions play out
in the real world.

Yes, I know you grew up in
a stable household,
and yes, I’m now the black sheep
of the family fold,
but my daddy loves me
and my siblings do too,
they’ve got my back,
that much is
true .

Your sisters may be
‘successful’, if you can
call it that,
one’s marriage is dead
and the other lives with
a cat.

Education and money
ain’t everything,
The material things of life
are important to me,
but, you see, more important
than that, is my children’s
safety.

You love to bring up my
‘broken past’,
can you blame my anger,
when I get in that ass?
You’ve never known want
or had a need that wasn’t met!
Your family’s stability
made you what you are
today, but anyway,
I love your mama like she was
my mama too;
in fact, she’s the main reason
that I’m still even with
you.

If push comes to shove
I can raise these kids
alone, welfare and child support
will make a happy home.
All the time you spend
on the Internet
is better spent alone,
and the next time I threaten
to smash your computer?
Consider it a promise, written in
stone.

Because, what I need, you’re
apparently unable to give:
all of you,
always present,
when I need you,
here, where you live.
My ‘craziness’ comes from
living on the run,
forced to grow up too early,
crying tears in the sun.
You promised me I would be
the Only One,
the Love of Your Life,
Your Soul-mate, your
wife.

But here we are,
mired in strife, wishing
upon a star.

You’re the father of my
children and a ‘Good Man’
it’s true ,
but if you can’t give me
what I need inside,
then, baby, I can’t stay
with you.