A piece written for people with Multiple Sclerosis
Unable to think, incapable of activity, inadequate and limited, each originating from something called fatigue. One would never assume a seven letter word could produce such a multitude of complications in an individual's life. How could it possibly dictate a person's every decision? Please somebody, help us to find the source of it's fury.
Resources tell us, the number one symptom experienced by those with Multiple Sclerosis is fatigue. We certainly know it!! Before MS, I would consider fatigue equivalent to tired or sleep deprived. Surely I didn't deem it as a life-altering attribute. Never would I imagine it to carry such a humungous significance in my life. This train of thought halted with the diagnosis of MS. I quickly was awakened to the reality of fatigue reigning my existence. From that time on I should learn to adapt my life to the dominance fatigue would have over me.
Waking each morning, or should I say opening my eyes, the day begins. Not knowing what this particular day will unfold, I slowly climb out of my bed, making my way to the kitchen. Usually I enjoy a cup of coffee but always I go to my medicine chest to retrieve my pill to counteract my fatigue. I'll admit, this medication is a bonus and usually with its help, I can manage to conquer the day, one filled with challenges requiring energy and motivation.
Friends and family members look at me oddly at times I am sure. You see, outwardly I appear to be fit as a fiddle. For the most part I attempt to carry on like any normal individual. Others may conclude that MS doesn't really affect me too much. Oh but if they could only realize just how tiring it is to lift my arms sometimes, how difficult it is to walk through the Shopping Mall, how tough it is to stay alert while driving or just how impossible it can be to remember someone's name. These seemingly small tasks can be gigantic hurdles when fatigue raises its nasty head. Actions and exercises that most take for granted, can often be overwhelming for someone fatigued.
This "fatigue" has rearranged my life. It has also helped me to sort what is important and what is trivial. Every day we humans, normally would set out on a routine mission which includes chores seemingly at the top of the list. That is the world that I lived in until MS and fatigue. Another day meant eight or nine hours in the Salon, meals to prepare, clothes to wash, furniture to dust . . . All of this was imperative that day. I have discovered or accepted that many of these tasks will still be there tomorrow. I've resolved to use my energy doing things I enjoy first and foremost. For a person who is fatigued, there are only so many productive hours in a day. I'd prefer to spend them wisely.
Thank you for sharing this I know it is not easy I don't have MS I have Lupus and the way you discribe how you feel on waking up and going through your day sounds just like I feel so I can relate I am so sorry you are going through this but at the same time your not alone.
good write, joanne! it is so hard to live with a chronic illness or disease, especially one like multiple sclerosis, which can be so unpredictable. i don't have ms, but i DO have a chronic disease, myself (arthritis), and there are some days where the pain is so bad it is all i can do to keep from crying. it is also hard to walk or move without pain, especially on inclimate days. i walk with crutches, which helps, but at times i wish i didn't have to use 'em; but knowing i do better with them, so i just put up with the injustice of it all--the stares, comments (in fact, a kid last night at my job asked me what was wrong with me, and i honestly told her what i had), or stupid people who don't know how to act around me. very good write about what a person with ms might encounter in their daily lives; thanks for educating me! love, your friend, karen lynn in texas. (((HUGS))) :)
Note: Since my husband's cancer surgery 4/25/05, this book content has been integrated into the public speaking content for audiences interested in a sassy approach to personal and/or community awareness events. Another chapbook on intimate love poet
