Indu sighed as she read the final lines of the novel she was reading.
She had lost count of how many times she had read ‘Pride and Prejudice’.
 But each time she read it, she thought about soul mates.
She looked around while putting the book back into her bag. 30 minutes more in the local train from office.
The train she was traveling in was filled to the brim, with hardly any space to stand. Perfume, mingled with the sweat wafted about her, but she didn’t mind.
 .
In the trains, where even a tiny place to stand was precious, the window seat was nothing less then a treasure.
This one and a half hour journey from office to home, in this unbelievable overcrowded train, was her daily routine.
 Years of traveling in the local trains of Mumbai had hardened her.

Her mind drifted back to the book she had just finished. And the rest of the world faded into oblivion.
 For the moment she was Elizabeth and he, Mr Darcy, she thought dreamily about Jai, her husband.
 “Only difference is that my Mr. Darcy isn’t quite so rich” Indu thought ruefully.
She thought about her first Mills and Boon book. How long ago was it? 15-16 years?
 She, like so many girls her age had found romance in those pages and had formed the image of the perfect prince charming.

The magic of the book she had just finished was wearing off, and she was back in reality.
As a 16 year old, Indu would have refused to accept that at 30 she would still be struggling, hanging on for dear life in an overcrowded train.
 Her future was about prince charming, and a comfortable life, a life that was better than the daily financial struggles she lived through…..

Indu was a dreamer, had always been, but she was brave enough to face the reality and stand by her decisions.
Marrying Jai was her choice. Marrying a man who earned half of what she did had drawn murmurs of disapproval from her otherwise liberal family.
 But Jai was an amazing human being – honest, loving, free-thinking, and he had the potential to make it big…and her love dher immensely!
Indu believed in him, and her belief and happiness was all her family asked for.

Yet, there were times when she wondered what it would have been like if she had agreed to an arranged marriage with that super rich commercial pilot?
Or that business magnate who had taken a fancy to her at some family wedding?

“Not again” Indu thought guiltily as she touched her mangalsutra. “I love Jai” she told herself forcefully,
and found she could believe her words still.

Life wasn’t a bed of roses, far from it. Indu did get tired of being the primary provider of the family even after six years of marriage,
 while Jai pursued his dream of becoming a writer.
 Paying the EMIs for a house that wasn’t even in her name, looking after the financial needs of Jai’s extended family did drain her out at times!

Was love enough? Was she being selfish in wanting a better life?
Perhaps an easier life where it wasn’t a tough decision reaching for the simple things she wanted from life –
 being able to buy her favourite book or music,or just spend few luxurious hours at the beauty salon and pamper herself..
 going for that vacation. She wasn’t materialistic.

But was it too much to hope for a day when she could go to sleep without wondering what will happen if lost her job?
 She didn’t mind working; she had worked hard to reach the position in her career that could be termed successful.
If she were single, her job as the assistant manager in a marketing firm would have given her a life of luxury.
She loved the challenges of her work, the money it gave her.
But she didn’t even have the freedom to spend the money at her will. The money was needed at home, to pay all those bills…..

Indu was rudely awakened from her reverie by the shrill laughter of a child. She turned to look at her new companion,
a little toddler looking adoringly at his proud mother. Indu smiled at the child, drawing instant smile from the baby.
 She touched his fingers, feeling tears burning behind her eyes.  How she longed for a child.
Her emotions, her body longed to hold her child, but how could she.....?

Jai wasn’t settled yet, even after 6 years of marriage…Indu couldn’t afford to leave her job to look after the baby,
 and he had made it clear that if they have a child, one of them will have to be a stay at home parent.
 Expecting an Indian man to be a stay at home dad was taking it too far,

 Indu was getting angry with herself now; her negative thoughts were becoming too persistent.
 This wasn’t her. She was never like this; she was the fighter, the dreamer. Did the dreamer in her,
just like the footsteps of her childhood, slowly disappear behind the misty haze of city life?
She looked around to search for the innocent smile, the wide-eyed gaze, and all she could find was cynicism.
 Did she lose the child in her? Indu shivered at the thought. “Did I finally become one of them?? One of the adults I smirked at as a 13-year-old?”

A sudden tap on her shoulder jerked her out of her trance. Her colleague reminded her.."Indu, ur station is next."
 Indu hurriedly picked her bag, threaded her way out of the crowded train.
 
It was drizzling out side and there was a slight chill in the air, her favourite weather.
 She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and felt the first raindrops on her face.
 Indu looked deep inside her soul, and there she was, the little Indu she wanted back into her life.
 Little Indu smiled and said “I was never away; I am the one who feels the bliss when raindrops touches your face,
 when the smell of the wet earth wafts in! I am the one who closes my eyes and feels like I am in heaven,
you can never shut me out, try as hard as you want”

Indu opened her eyes and smiled!
 The smile of self-discovery! The smile broadened into a silent laugh as she watched Jai waiting for her in his age-eaten bike,
drenched to the bone. The raindrops were rejuvenating her soul.
She learnt once more....She loved him!
 Yes, she believed in soul mates. Hers was standing right in front of her.
 Together they will make it.
Together they will make all their dreams come true …..