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Randy Stensaas

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Max and Me Deer Riding
by Randy Stensaas
Monday, March 8, 2010

Rated "G" by the Author.

       
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     What can I say, we were at it again. This time poor ol Max took an unexpected ride.

 

                 Living in the boondocks we had to feed the family. And since everybody thought cows were too expensive to eat we had to eat deer. So we were always on the lookout for good deer hunting grounds.   We were out looking for where the sneaky little devils were going to be hiding, so we were sneaking about the creek bottom. 
                We figured that if we could get a jump on them we would have it made. These little devils had been sneaking around the ranch for every eating everything in sight. They were even sneaking in and eating the dog food. They were living the good life and it was time we got even with them.
                With that in mind we headed out. The creek bottom was great stomping grounds, with brush, trees and tall grass. We would play hide and seek there for hours. Now we were on a mission, finding the nasty deer. 
                We were sneaking through the brush just about to come out into the open field when we surprised a buck. He jumped sideways turned around and ran head long into a tree knocking him cold. We looked at each other as surprised as the deer must have been when he discovered that tree in his road. 
                We approached it slowly and it looked like it was dead. It was laying there dead for all practical purposes. We started jumping up and down and yelling, “Who needs a gun? We don’t need no stinkin gun” I yelled. “Heck no” Max yelled, “They take one look at us and know it is over and just fall over dead”.  We were jumping up and down not believing our luck. We had bagged a deer and didn’t even do it with a gun. We were climbing on it, making funny faces and just having a great time.
                Max was sitting on it pretending like he was riding it, when all of a sudden he WAS riding it. The buck had woke up and stood up and Max was still on it. He grabbed the horns, not enough sense to get off, and away they went. Now if you have seen a deer run you know that they don’t run all the time, most of the time they jump, and this one was jumping, big long jumps. He had the horns and every time it would hit the ground the horns would poke him in the shoulders. Max was yelling and screaming, embarrassing the way he carried on, as it took off. Why he just didn’t let go and fall off is beyond me, but he didn’t. I was following as best as I could but I was laughing too much to be of much use or keep up. He was putting up a great ride, if fact the way he was going he was ready for the rodeo season that was coming up. 
                We got to a fence and just as the deer jumped over it Max fell off and landed on the fence. I got there just as he hit the fence. When he hit the top wire it bend down and then snapped back up and shot him into the air about five feet and he landed on his feet, lucky stiff. He looked around like, no big deal I had planned it that way. 
I was laughing so hard I was not much help but when saw him hit that fence and land on his feet like it was all planned, I thought, “there is no justice” if it had been me I would been wound up in that wire like a pretzel.  Oh well I got a good laugh out of it for a while watching the ride.
             
               
               

  

 

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Reviewed by D. Kelly 3/12/2010
Funny! My brother and a friend picked up a deer one time that had just been hit by a car. They put in the back of his station wagon but after about a mile, the deer came to life. They were able to get out before getting killed but the inside of the car looked like somebody went after it with a switchblade knife.

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