A frantic knock came at my work room door this afternoon.  "Mary Come QUICK!"

Anxiously anticipating a 9-1-1 emergency response as I have been trained to do, naturally I suspect that someone is bleeding, is unconscious or that the place is on fire.

"What's your emergency?!"  I demanded.

"IT'S REALLY BAD." Tater Tot shouted. "in the KITCHEN!"

Now, let me point out that I've seen some "bad" things in my life, but I just cannot imagine how there could possibly be a gunshot victim or a two car rollover in my kitchen.  

Missing 12 of the 16 steps coming downstairs, arriving at the accident scene I shouted, "OMIGAWD!"

Being trained for this sort of mission, quickly I surveyed the area.  You know, to gather a few critical facts to determine the mechanism of injury. 

What I surmise to my surprise are the refrigerator and freezer doors, both lying dead on the floor with food stuff strewn hither and yon.

Now, I must admit I was a bit taken aback by the spatter of ketchup and mistook that for blood, wondering, "Why did the Godfather whack my fridge?" 

At first glance it looked like a tornado blew in and only hit the refrigerator.  I didn't think at the time, but maybe I should have looked to see if there was a tire on top.

Wading through Hidden Valley Ranch, pickles, and Green Giant frozen peas, I discover that the door hinge has been traumatically amputated.  AHA!  Now, I switch hats from Emergency Responder to that of Master Investigator.

"How did this happen?"  I asked.

"I don't know."  Tater Tot said.  "It just fell off."

"Just fell off hey?"  I said.  "Imagine that.  They just fell off."

"That's what happened."  She said convinced her story would fly.  "I just opened it and it fell right off."

"Now seriously, I am a half century old and I can attest to two things:

- Children lie.

- Refrigerator doors do not spontaneously fall off.

"Is that right?"  I said.  "Well, ma'am, I hate to discredit your story, but I don't think so.  I was born at night, but it was not last night.  Someone was hanging on this door to do this sort of damage."

"NO!"  She said, "No one was hanging on it, they just fell off."

"Listen Pinocchio, leaves fall off of trees, warts fall off after you freeze them, but refrigerator doors do not fall off . . . unless, of course a tribe of monkeys come in to swing on them, so, would you like to recant your story?"

This is when Medium Fry Walnut turned stool pigeon and fingered Tater Tot for the crime.  "See, I told you not to swing on the door!"

"I didn't." Tater Tot said.

"You did!"  Medium Fry said.  "I saw you.  The door was open and your feet were not on the floor!  You were hanging on the door."

Remarkably I was pretty calm.  "Medium Fry, please text Father Walnut with emergent SOS.  Tell him to come home right away.  Say, “Tinkerbell has magically tried to fly, ripped the fridge doors off, and sadly his moo shoo chicken is splattered on rocky road.”