I wiggled my rear end on the hard plywood. I tucked my back against another, tilted sheet of plywood. The position was ungainly and uncomfortable. However, the seat and the discomfort was typical for this kind of vehicle.

Four people stood around me giving directions -- cumulative experience with this kind of vehicle exceeding seventy years.

"Put your right hand on the steering wheel and grab the knob so that you can make turns using only one hand. Remember, there is no power steering."

"Grab the joy stick with your left hand. When you lift up, you will apply power. Push it slowly forward or backward to engage the engine."

"Oh, and by the way --- your gauges are over there to your left: oil pressure and engine temperature. You press that button to start the engine. Wait for the idle to smooth out. Oh, remember, you don''t control the brakes; your observer does that. If you need to stop, move the throttle to neutral and let go."

"You watch the guy up front giving signals.  If he signals left, then turn the wheel to your left.  If he signals right, turn the wheel to the right.  Always keep turning the wheel until he tells you to stop.  Move forward when he signals forward; back up when he signals reverse. Stop when he motions stop or crosses his arms.  As long as you are doing what he tells you to do, if you crash, it is not your fault."

"Ready -- then start the engine."

Thus began my first lesson as apprentice Tournament of Roses Float Driver.  Fifteen tense minutes later, I had driven the 15,000 pound chassis forward, backward, and sideways into its new position, a grand total of 3 feet to the side and zero feet forwards or backwards.

I shut down the engine with a grin on my face that would not quit. I only hope that I get a little bit more practice before I have to perform in the real parade around 2015.