A Hope Endured

This book is really just a journal of what has crept into my mind from the fourth grade on.  

My first published poem, a haiku about snow, gave me a glimpse of what writing really was to me.  It was and is a compilation of my greatest hopes, thoughts, desires and dreams. As with most things in life, I realized as soon as I finished this work that it was simply another beginning.

I was asked a few months ago by one of the very generous people who helped me with my writing critiques, what I had learned from my experiences with life and writing so far.  I thought it a bit premature to be contemplating this question at 35, but maybe it is good I thought to stop and reflect on what makes us who we are earlier in life. How else can I measure my success, unless I first measure what I have learned from my failures? I decided part of learning who we really are as individuals has a lot to do with first learning who we are not.  So here goes, the following are my humble words of wisdom on what has made my journey to this finished work truly worth while.

In my life, I have learned that even though I am a creator by nature, I do not always have to walk two steps ahead of everyone else to be happy. That the signs you ignore are the gifts you have thrown away. That the greatest joy to know in life, is that your love is not wasted. And that monetary happiness can be as simple as a blank piece of paper.

I have learned that even though I may sometimes feel unsure, sad or distrustful, I do not have to walk two steps behind in life to feel safe.  That the greatest peace I have ever known was when one of my children was asleep in my arms. And that I can achieve my own personal Nirvana by walking through a cedar forest after it rains.

I have learned that I want to experience so many things in this world, but not alone. That love, and not just time can heal all wounds. That I will not let my past hurts be the reasons I do not try to keep going, but the reasons I still do. I have learned that I am competitive, and that I want to win and be respected, but that everyone wants to live on top of a mountain. It is so easy for us to forget that all of the growth, learning and happiness usually occur while we are still climbing it. I have learned to not forget to enjoy the view at each and every peak. That if you pay attention with your heart and not just your mind, the universe will always show you which way you should go.

I have learned that the people I want to share my life with will neither walk two steps behind, or ahead of me, but will walk with me and not be afraid to hold my hand. That blaming the world for our own disappointments is not an excuse that will create change. But most importantly, I have learned that the question you need to ask yourself is when you finally have reached the top and you look down upon the kingdom you have created, however big or small.

Who will be there with you?   ……….

And then love them enough to climb their mountains too.

For Blake and Hannah, Forever in my arms.