lost my dad at an early age and though i tend not to mind most of the time, since i never got to know him, moments like this make me realise, what hurts the most  is not losing him but rather never having the chance to know him......those rare moments when i can't help but look back and see how his absence has contributed in making me who i am today...i can't help but wonder what it would have been like to have him around...to know the look on his face when he smiles or scolds...and what it would feel like to call him dad...it is bliss in its own way to never have know him cos you can't really miss someone you don't know....but my price to pay is to never know him for who he was...to have no memory to hold on to...and it hurts...i keep wondering which would have been easier...to know and lose him or to lose him never knowing what it was to know him