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De Rose

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Bristlecone Magic (Segment 1)
by De Rose
Saturday, August 15, 2020

Rated "PG" by the Author.

       
Recent stories by De Rose
· Uh...Hello?! aka Thank You Little Girl!
· Bristlecone magic Segment 2
· Steampunk Tea Served Cold
· My Prima Dreams
· The Bridge AKA A Cup of Joe
· Diary of a Six-Year-Old
           >> View all 7


     Jim convinces his twin brother John to go for a short drive. Life will never be the same again.
Jim had been walking through these old forests his whole life, well almost his whole life; he had just turned twenty today. It was his birthday. He wandered aimlessly, deep in thought, not really knowing where he was headed. Usually, he had a destination in mind. One of his favorite places was the old fort he and his brother John had built when they were both seven. …But not today. Jim slumped down at the base of an old pine, a really old pine. It was the largest, tallest, widest tree for miles and miles but Jim had never seen it until today. With no one around to see or criticize him, the tears began to flow. Sobs of guilt and remorse wracked his soul as he remembered the raw events of the night before. Jim grabbed John’s shoulder and shook him hard. “Come on John, let’s go, Mom and Dad are asleep. They’ll never know and we’ll be back before they both get up to take a bathroom break. We have been talking about this for a week.” “You have been talking about it. Jimmy, I know you’re not the sharpest tack in the box but this is a dumb idea. Did you look outside before we went to bed?” “What’s a little snow, don’t be a pussy. Besides, the RV has four-wheel drive and Dad just put those tires on a month ago. What could go wrong? I was just outside and there’s only a couple inches of snow.” “Jimmy, I suppose you gonna bug the shit outta me until I do just what you want and I suppose you want me to drive too, right? Jimmy started fidgeting as he nodded. “If anything goes wrong it’s your ass on the line, not mine; now move outta the way so I can get dressed. Hand me my boots. And while you’re waiting go outside and clean off the car.” Jimmy rushed out, slamming the bedroom door on the way. John looked up to the ceiling in silent prayer. “Jimmy, your idea sucks. We only just got our permits a week ago and it’s snowing out here like crazy. How many hours do we each have behind the wheel? Not enough as far as I’m concerned. Get in the car and buckle up.” “John, stop being a worrywart. Ain’t nothing gonna happen. All’s we’re doing is riding a mile down the road by ourselves, on our own with nobody around to tell us what to do. It’ll be our first trip together and all we’re doing is headin down to that little field on the side of the road where you can look up and see every star in the universe. And besides, the speed limit is only thirty.” “Okay but I’m only going twenty miles an hour cause of the snow plus I can hardly see. Here we go.” John looked over at Jim. He had a smile on his face a mile wide. My God, you’d think we were riding the Kingda Ka going 128 miles an hour! He looks happier than a pig in the mud. Contact me if you want to read more. This is a WIP  

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Reviewed by Armineh Ohanian 8/19/2020
Hi Deninis,

Very interesting story and well written. I really enjoyed reading it.
Stay safe,
Armineh
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 8/15/2020
Don't cry if I criticize. ;-) You certainly are starting out with a intriguing premise. Jim has had something happen that I believe he believes that he has caused. It's too short to get real gist of things, but a good start.

I have seen that photo flying around the Internet. There is absolutely no phenomenon that would cause such a scene, regardless of wormholes, black holes, etc. Your illustration should have some bearing on the story. Perhaps it does. That photo is either a great bit of tongue-in-cheek carpentry artistry (most likely) or it has been photoshopped.

The bristlecone pine is quite rare, stunted by the elements, and found only on high desert mountains in the southwest. Quite an unlikely place for Jim to routinely walk or play in, like a forest. However, perhaps that image means that Jim's world is turned upside down and familiar places now have very unfamiliar things.

Ron

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