50 Shades of Denial

“Her best friend saw me out with a blonde.”

“And that’s when the row started?”

“No. ‘Just business,’ I said. Then she saw the love note.”

“OK. The note sparked the row?”

“No. ‘It’s obviously a joke,’ I said, but then she smelt the perfume.”

“OK. The smell brought the hell?”

“No. ‘Got squirted in a department store,’ I said. That’s when she found the panties.”

“Right! That’ll be the row now, then?”

“No. I told her they were a present. ‘For me?’ she asked. ‘Nope,’ I said, ‘sure you’d never fit into those’… and that’s when the row started.”