The first dozen or so pages from Chapter Two Homeward Bound where the main characters hang out at the Employment office in Shelby Montana looking for a job on a wheat ranch.
Meditation is the emptying of consciousness, not to receive, but to be empty of all endeavor." Krishnamurti
Chapter-Two
It seems like I've barely closed my eyes when I feel a bare foot touch my shoulder. "It's morning, sleepy head. Time to get up!" Anne tells me as she dodges my hand and races back to the car. "Hurry up you guys. It's freezing out here."
"Good morning God, Vance says and gives a dramatic pause. "Good God morning?" he asks as he stretches to his full five foot nine inches and pulls on his pants. "Get moving you lazy bastard," he tells me.
"Morning already?" I ask as I reach for a sock.
At the service station, we fill up with gas and carry a change of clothes to the restrooms. Brushing my teeth, I smile back at my twenty-three year old sun burnt face. Five day's growth of beard is hardly noticeable, but I shave anyhow. After changing into a fresh pair of kaki's and a clean white shirt, I meet Anne at he rear of the garage for a good morning kiss. Her rose flushed cheeks shine with morning freshness. "Don't. I'm wrinkled already, she says when I pull her closer. "Do I look all right?" she asks stepping back and tucking her blouse into her yellow cotton wrap around skirt.
"You look great," I say as I eye her soft curved twenty three year old body.
In town by 7:40, we stop for a breakfast of coffee and toast. "You know, back East they call it the Unemployment Office. Out here, it's the Employment Office, I tell Vance and Anne after the waitress gives us directions.
"Yea, well out West a man wants employment, not unemployment checks. Listen, Daley, we're gonna have to make a really good impression on them farmers. Let them know that we are willing and anxious to work. Convince them that we can't wait around. I guess we'll have to find a place for you in town, Anne. Christ, Daley, you and I may have to split up too. But the important thing is to find jobs today. Tomorrow at the very latest. "
"You know, it is possible that we might all get on at the same big ranch. They may need extra kitchen help during harvest. "
"I kind'a doubt that, Daley," Vance says shaking his head and laughing.
"Besides, I don't think I'd want to work as kitchen help, anyhow. I just hope I can get something in an office," Anne tells us.
At the employment office, Vance and I are the only ones lined up at the farm labor window. "We really need work, sir. And, you can believe we will put out the extra effort," Vance tells the man behind the counter.
"Yea, and we'd like to get on together if possible," I add.
After we admit that we've never run a self propelled combine, the clerk assures us that many of the ranchers hire on inexperienced truck drivers for the harvest. We load our applications with plenty of farm and truck driving experience both of which we have had a little; I on my foster father's farm and at the airport, Vance as a kid in Stockbridge, and in construction with Big Sam. "Christ, Daley, be sure to check yes for driver's license. They wont ask to see it. And, if they do, you can always say you lost your wallet," Vance whispers.
The clerk takes a quick glance at our applications and tells us that the ranchers will be coming in all morning.
Looking around, I see that there is not a single chair on this side of the counter. The only other perspective employee is an old black man who sits on the floor near the front window leaning on his canvas pack. Vance walks over to join him while I wait near Anne's window.
"How'd you make out?" I ask when she steps away.
"All they have is a waitress job. The woman was so nice. I explained that I have never done any real waitress work. Just weekends at the golf club when I was still in school. They only served drinks and sandwiches.... But, she said Mr. Reynolds often hires inexperienced girls during fair week. I have an interview at two. How'd you guys do?"
"The guy said we're almost certain to get on. They come in all day to do their hiring. We'll just have to wait. You wanna sit out in the car?"
"Give me a yell if anything comes up," I tell Vance as we head out the door.
"You know how bad I feel about leaving you in a strange town," I tell Anne as we settle in the front seat. She assures me that she will be all right. What she's worried about is finding a place to stay, ironing a fresh skirt and blouse, and getting ready for her interview.
"I guess we'll have to find you a hotel room. It will jus' be for a week or two. "
"What if you and Vance don't get anything today. How long will we stay?"
"I don't know. Not more than a couple days."
"Suppose they find out that you lost your license?"
"I don't think it'll make any difference. We'll be driving on private property. Still glad you came on the trip?" I ask as I pull her towards me for a kiss.
"Ummmmm. Yep," she answers as our bodies melt together and time ceases .
I remember the very moment Anne and I first met. It was after I had received my third or fourth check at Mercer County Airport. I'd been hanging out at the Capri, a rival coffee house that opened after the Trivia, but stayed in business a year or two longer. After midnight, some of the old Triv. crowd would leave the Capri and spend some time at Eighty-Four, an apartment that several guys from T. J. C. shared. The night that Anne showed up, I was lying on the couch with a girl, Sonia, who was so ugly that I pretended to sleep rather than make out. I straightened my hair and tucked in my wine stained button down collar shirt. In the kitchen, Anne stood in a black dress with orange Chinese lettering for trim. She had just returned from a club in Camden where the sister of one of the kids who rented the "Pad" was making her singing debut. As I watched from the kitchen doorway, I was immediately struck by her lack of pretense. After the post-Trivia crowd with everyone playing their roles to the hilt, this was especially refreshing.
Somehow, she looked older and more sophisticated than me. I figured I didn't stand a chance, but made a Gennero-like pass anyhow. She responded in a friendly manner, and we chatted for five minutes or so before she took her leave. Her warm laughing voice lingered with me when Kelly told me he got her phone number. He wanted to wager ten bucks that he could get a date with her before me. Thinking that she just might fall for the line of a college-educated doctor's son, I told him no bet. "That's one girl I'm really interested in," I explained. Following the Trivia code, he let me have first crack.
I was a little surprised when after my second phone call Anne accepted my invitation to make a Saturday night trip to the Village. Leo, his friend with a '57 Chevy, and I picked up Anne, Sonia, and Kim at the Y. I ended up in the back seat between Anne and Kim holding both their hands. When Anne noticed, I let go of Kim's. Later, as we walked through the March wind blown Village streets, Anne slipped her hand into mine and warmed me clean to the bone. We ran into Councho at a coffee house where he was playing. He brought his long brown body to our table and shook hands all around. "Splitting for Chi. soon as I get some bread together," he told me. He thought there might be a party at Jonathan North's pad. We checked and found it empty and dark. On the way back to Trenton, I ended up behind the wheel with Anne sitting next to me. I pushed it all the way to a hundred before Kelly's pal screamed for me to slow down.
When I return to the employment office, I notice several down and out looking characters seated in twos and threes with their backs to the wall. The old black dude is sleeping with his head on his pack. "Christ, Daley," Vance tells me as he gets up and pulls out our pack of Camels," I thought you forgot I was here."
"Nothing happening, huh?" I ask as we both light up.
"Not a soul been in here that ain't out'a work," he answers and leads the way to the other side of the room where we take a seat on the floor. "Don't look like we got too much competition, but I'm glad we got here first."
"Yea, I guess the black guy was first. "
"Talked to that cat awhile after you left. Told me if we get hungry, we can always get a meal down at the Methodist Church. Can you believe that, Daley? Says it's really good grub, too. They got beds where you can flop for the night. We may be low, Daley, but we ain't ever gonna be that low. Still, it's a good thing to know.
"Cat said he was down in Sunburst a couple days ago. Said the whole fucking town came out to stare at him. They told him he was the first fucking nigger they seen in thirty years. Can you fucking believe it, man?"
"They didn't offer him no job?"
"Hell, no. They directed him straight to Shelby. Didn't even offer him a cold drink of water."
"How's he get around?"
"Hitches, rides the freights, does a mighty lot of walking, too. Said he walked all the way from Sunburst. Interesting old bastard. Says he's been on the road for fourteen years. Traveled the U.S.A. from one end to the other, time and time again. Said, Same everywhere I goes. Dem dat got gets more. Dem dat ain't got loses what dey got.
"Ain't it the truth? Ain't it the truth?" I ask nodding my head reflectively.
"These floors get mighty hard on your ass," Vance tells me as we finish our smokes. "What say you watch here for awhile, and let me spend a few minutes outside in a soft car seat?"
"Yea, but don't be out there all day."
"Don't worry. I'll keep Anne good company." he laughs and heads for the door.
Around ten thirty or so, the employment clerk comes out from behind his counter and beckons to me. "There's a rancher inside wanting to interview for irrigation work," he tells me.
"I'll go get Vance," I say nodding my head toward the car.
"Well, that's the problem. He only needs one man. I know you boys want to get on together, but I thought you might be interested. "
"Yea, I guess," I say and follow Mr. Granger to a little back office. He introduces me to a man seated at the side of his desk, and sits down behind it while I remain standing.
The rancher, dressed in blue denim work clothes, explains that irrigation work is simple enough, but I would have to work odd hours. "Only takes a couple hours to move and set up the pipe. Start out around four A.M. and go through midnight, some times. Got to catch your sleep in between moving pipe. Job'll last two months. Maybe a little longer. Pays a hundred and fifty a month plus room and board," he tells me.
It flashes through my mind how fantastic it would be alone under the stars at four A.M. I picture a lonely bunkhouse high in cattle country lighting a cigarette, and pulling on my boots. What an experience, I tell myself and remember our situation just in time. "No, I'm afraid not. We're heading up to Alaska. We only wanna stick around for a couple weeks to pick up some extra money. We wanna get up there while they're still doing a lot of hiring, I say as the rancher nods in understanding.
"What's up?" Vance asks when he returns a few minutes after I leave the back office.
"I interviewed for an irrigation job. Hundred and fifty a month plus a room and all you can eat. Can you imagine, man? Watching the sun rise and set from the middle of nowhere?"
"I'm surprised you didn't take it, you stupid ass. What, he only needed one man?"
I explain the rancher's proposition and tell Vance that Anne and I had better go down for a coffee and slice of pie or something. "We're gonna have to find her a room pretty quick."
"Yea, well, be tight with the bread, Daley. If we don't get on by tomorrow, we're going to be hurting," he tells me.
"You can eat when we get back," I answer and head for the door.
"I almost got a job," I tell Anne as we walk hand in hand toward the coffee shop.
"No chance of you getting something in town?" she asks after I describe the offer.
"I kind'a doubt it," I say and pull her toward me for a quick kiss.
"Oh, I love you so much. " Anne says when we pause for a breath. We linger a little closer until she catches sight of a passing pedestrian and pulls away. Hand in hand again, we pause in front of a jewelry store window. Diamonds sparkle in the light from our eyes, as we laugh at the reflection of an old married couple hurrying after two brats.
"That's us five years from now," I tell Anne.
"That's you twenty years from now," Anne laughs lifting her eyes to the bald headed jeweler inside the store.
A couple blocks this side of the coffee shop we pause in front of a small storefront restaurant. Reading the menu, I tell Anne, "Hot roast beef dinner, coffee, and pie for just one dollar. Let's splurge." A big smile lights up her eyes as she nods yea.
We dig into our first hot meal in three days like we hadn't eaten in weeks. "I'll bet the roast beef comes from right up the road," I say as I savor the juicy flavor.
"Rustlers probably brought it in," Anne replies as she licks her lips.
A motherly Chinese waitress fills our cups a second time and smiles. We light up cigarettes and hold hands across the table. "Shelby wouldn't be a bad place to live, would it?" Anne asks.
"Not at all. You couldn't find friendlier people. Who knows, maybe if we find the right kinda work we could stay a few months, I answer.
"There's so much to see," Anne tells me.
Paying at the counter with a five-dollar bill, I receive three silver dollars in change. "Can you believe it? Here, take two for good luck," I tell Anne figuring I'd give the other to Vance for his lunch.
About a half block from the employment office, we see Vance running toward us. "We got a job! We got a job!" he shouts waving his arms. The cat needs two drivers. Waiting for us right now. Man, this is it. Just what we're looking for."
As soon as Vance and I step inside, Mr. Granger meets us and ushers us to his back office. There, he introduces Doctor Zerrwitz. Dressed in dark kaki shirt and pants with clean old brogans, he has short gray hair, and a clean-shaven face, and the looks of a man who means business. He stares me straight in the eye and reaches out to shake hands. "Never work a wheat harvest before, huh?" he asks as he turns my hand over and checks for calluses.
"I bagged on my foster fathers farm. We only worked fifteen or twenty acres. "
"What about you?" he asked taking Vance's hand.
"No, sir, but I'm willing to learn," Vance tells him.
"Think you boys can handle a twelve hour day?"
"Yes sir!" we answer in unison.
"Well, I don't know. They look kind'a scrawny, but I think I'll give 'em a try," he tells Granger who stands beside us.
"Twelve dollars a day while you're learning. When you catch on, we'll raise it to fifteen. Get your gear and meet me out front in a half hour," he tells us.
"God damm! Can you believe it?" We did it, Daley. "We did it, man," Vance chuckles as we hurry out to the car.
"One day in town, and we all get jobs. Man, that's something else. I told you it was different out West," I shout as we climb in the car.
"You both got a job?" Anne asks with a big smile, behind which I catch just a glimpse of disappointment.
"Yea, we got to start right away. He wants us in front with our gear in half an hour, I tell Anne.
"Cat inside was telling me places are kind' a hard to find with fair week coming up. Says he stays in a hotel down on Third. We could check it out," Vance tells Anne as he starts the car.
Anne nods yes as I say," You wouldn't believe the old guy. Checked out our hands for calluses, checked out our biceps, did everything but check our teeth. You'd think he was hiring a couple horses. "
"More like a couple mules," Anne laughs.
"Yea, the guy was telling me he worked the fair here last summer. 'Knock down seventy-eight bucks a week plus all you can steal,' he told me. I was thinking, Daley, maybe we should check it out. But, God damm, we don't have to now. We got us a real job."
As we approach Third Street, the neighborhood begins to get shabbier. The hotel looks like something from the inner city. I'm thinking that only the poorest transient would stay in something like this, as I eye up the faded gray clapboard and hand painted green glass window.
"I don't know, man, I think we can find something better'n this, I tell Vance when he parks at the curb.
"Yea, it does look a bit run down. We can't keep the doc. waiting, though. I don't know where else to look. "
"Well, maybe we could check back with the guy at the employment office . Granger. He might know. "
"This will be all right for me to change and get ready. You guys'll be back before dark. We can look for something else when you get back," Anne tells us.
"Yea, maybe we can check with the chief. He's sure to know the best place in town," Vance says.
"I guess we don't have much choice," I add and take a ten out of the envelope in the glove compartment. "This be enough?" I ask as I hand it to Anne.
"That's plenty," she answers.
We pile out of the car, and get Anne's big blue suitcase out of the trunk. The lobby is dark and greasy. A little wrinkled man comes out from the door behind the counter, and it's too late to back out.
"We need a room for our sister, Vance tells the man.
"Two dollars in advance," he tells Vance.
"I wish I didn't have to leave you like this," I whisper as I hold Anne in my arms behind the closed door.
"Don't worry. I'll be fine," she answers. Our lips meet. Her fingers dig into my back. The taste of her mouth feeds my very being. The whole world narrows down to just the two of us, and then it begins a slow expansion.....
(It may have been the puppy love stage that we were in back then, but let me tell you, it is the best feeling in the whole world when you are in it. Henry Miller says that it is the highest stage of love. Only our body and soul are too weak to sustain it.)
"Come on, Daley. We can't keep the doc. waiting," Vance yells from outside. "We'll be back as quick as we can, he tells Anne as I step out into the dark narrow hallway.
Doc sits waiting in a heavy dump truck when we pull up in front of the employment office. He motions for us to follow and leads the way to vacant lot at the edge of town.
"Building the first wrecking yard in Northern Montana on this site," Doc tells us as we meet him climbing out of his cab. "Now, I have two reasons for putting a yard here," he says as he waves his hand to point out a couple hundred acres. Behind the fence, is wide-open land that rolls west all the way to the Rockies. "One is that the price of junk metal is on the rise. Two, Shelby is expanding in this direction. This'll be a mighty good piece of property a few years down the road.
"Now, I'll need one of you boys to follow in my pick up," Doc says holding out a set of keys.
Vance volunteers, and we set out again. Several miles north of town, we turn off the main road and pick up a dirt one that winds northeast. In less than a mile, Doc brakes to a stop and beckons us to his cab. He explains that when we're driving caravan like this we have to keep at least ten-car lengths distance between us. "Stone'll jump up and crack a windshield that quick," he says snapping his fingers.
Fucking old fart, I'm thinking as I get back behind the wheel. He's right, though, I answer in another voice, as I watch the scattered ranches grow even further apart. Rolling fields of wind blown grain run for miles in every direction. Sky and mountains stretch beyond the fields as far as the eye can see. Now and then, theres a break in the waving brown grain, islands of green-brown foothills where herds of wild looking cattle browse with lowered heads.
We had seen the land open up somewhere around Sherryville, Indiana. Witnessed vast green oceans of knee high corn in Iowa. Marveled at pheasants running right outside our car windows in an early morning Minnesota. Rolled with the cattle spotted hills of North Dakota. Now, the big sky country, Im telling myself, thinking, This ain't bad for a Philadelphia boy.
"The West is wild, open, and free," I had told my foster father shortly before we left.
"Those were the old days back in history. Why it's just as tame as New Jersey out there, now," he answered and let slip a little of his dream of homesteading back in 1923 when he was a young man and land was still available.
"You'll never find a place to camp. This is 1961. All the land is privately owned," my foster mother laughed when I brought home the tent that I had borrowed from Johnny James.
After driving some twenty miles with the Sweet Grass Mountains growing ever larger, we turned at a big white mailbox marked, Ward Stores, R.F.D. #41. In the ranch yard, Doc introduces his foreman, Ward Stores, who looks like a character right out of Wagon Train. Clean cut, in his early forties, he's dressed just like Doc in heavy kaki and old brogans. As he reaches out to shake hands, Doc explains that we're inexperienced, but willing to learn.
"Yes sir, and you can believe we are not afraid of hard work," Vance says as I nod my head in agreement.
"Good. Good. We can start 'em first thing in the morning," Ward tells Doc.
"Right, then, I'll take them over and get'em settled in the bunk house. You boys 'll wanna get a good night's rest. Our day runs sun up to sun set during harvest," Doc says as he and Ward shot a little laugh at each other.
"What'll we do about super for the boys?" Ward asks.
"We have food in our car, if there's a place to cook," Vance tells Ward.
"Yea, there's a nice little gas stove in the kitchen. Good. Good. We didn't really want to start no extra cooking 'til morning when the other hands come in. I'll send my son, Cal, to wake you boys for breakfast," Ward tells us.
We follow Doc's pick up back to the mailbox where he turns right. In a hundred yards or so, he makes a left turn onto a dusty dirt lane. Passing a pair of grain silos, about a quarter mile down the lane, we park in front of a gray clapboard two story building. Surrounding the building are acres and acres of blowing grain and miles of sky. "Now, you boys'll have the place all to yourselves tonight. Just pick out a bunk and make yourself at home. You can wash up down at the pump," Doc tells us and points to a well about fifty feet from the bunkhouse.
"Just remember, out here Ward is boss. Do exactly what he tells you, and keep your eyes open. Not often we get a couple bright young boys like you out here. I expect you'll pick up a lot."
"Well, we certainly will do our very best, sir. You can count on it. And, let me say again, we really appreciate your giving us this chance," Vance replies.
"I'm sure you'll work out fine. Get a good night's sleep, then," Doc says as he bids us good-bye.
"I got your good night's sleep," Vance laughs as we head towards the building. "Can you believe it, Daley? A real honest to God bunkhouse!"
"Yea, this is something else, huh? Stepping through the door, I see a small gas stove against the back wall, behind it is a heavy straw broom, and a large galvanized tub. To our left is a kitchen table; around the table are five unmatching wooden chairs. Above the table is a small window that looks out on the outhouse path. At the kitchen sink, a cold-water faucet drips on brown stain. Above the sink are a couple shelves that hold a fly flicked radio and cooking utensils.
"Check it out, huh," Vance laughs as he steps through a doorway at the far side of the kitchen. The back room holds five iron bunk beds with thin rolled mattresses atop metal springs. To the right side between two bunks is a faded brown dresser on which sits a dozen or so books. A couple milk crates and an empty shelf to the left of the back wall window make up the rest of the furnishings.
"What say we open the windows and get our digs swept out a bit," Vance says after claiming a bunk by the window.
"You do the sweeping, I'll open the windows," I answer and take a moment to glance at the titles on the dresser. "Lot's a Zane Gray," I say and claim a bunk against the back wall to my right.
"You know, we might as well unpack the whole carrier. That way we won't have to worry when we're in town. Sure as hell, no one's gonna fuck with our stuff in this God forsaken piece of nowhere. "
After we've selected the best mattresses and rolled out our sleeping bags, we stow the rest of our gear and head out to the pump for our baths.
The ice-cold water sends waves of shock through my entire body. Jesus Christ, I tell myself as I take in the vastness of the open land and sky. If only I could describe what I see. I'd be a writer. If only I could describe it, I tell myself.
"I told you we could do it. I knew we could do it, man!" Vance shivers as I pump the ice-cold water into his hands.
Married ten years, and more in love than ever, Robert and Marcie have everything to live for. But a terrible secret is breaking Robert's heart: he knows that Marcie is about to die...
