It was another lazy afternoon at the office, so I took the opportunity to chat with the new guy. Kenny sat a few desks down from me. He is pretty stocky; dude looks like he used to play football in his younger days. He’s also a bit younger than me, in his mid-twenties, I’d guess, with a shaved head, blonde eyebrows and blue eyes. He seemed to be a good guy.

“Do you have any pets, Eduardo?” He asked me before taking a swig from a bottle of soda.

“Nah, I have a small apartment and I don’t think it’s big enough for a pet. Yourself?” I replied. Somebody was walking by and I turned to see who it was. It was Valerie, another new hire. Like Kenny, she was also pretty nice. I guess the company figured that one anti-social weirdo was enough after hiring me.

“My fiancé and I have two pugs.” Kenny replied while raising two fingers with his right hand.

I hope he’s not one of those, I thought, and let out a small ‘hmm’ before asking: “Y’all don’t call them ‘baby’ by chance, do you?”

“Uh, no. Why do you ask?” Kenny asked with a chuckle.

“It’s a test. I’ve noticed that obsessive dog owners tend to call their dogs ‘baby.’ Personally, I think that’s a little nutty, but that’s just me.” I said.

Unseen to us, Valerie was walking back towards us with a stack of freshly-printed documents in her hand.

“Don’t get me wrong, Ed. They are our babies, but the nice thing is that I can tie my babies up to a tree in the backyard when they misbehave.” Kenny replied enthusiastically.

The sound of papers falling on the floor immediately followed and we turned to see a horrified Valerie looking at Kenny and exclaiming: “OH MY GOD, YOU DO WHATTO YOUR BABIES?”

I smiled and exclaimed: “And THAT’S how rumors get started!”

Kenny and I enjoyed a hearty laugh before he explained to Valerie that no, he wasn’t tying babies to a tree in his backyard.

Well, not people babies, anyway.