Barflies
“Really? You regret nothing?”
“No.” Nathan was looking to his left as he spoke, where two women were sitting by themselves at a table halfway across the room. “So you don’t think she’s pretty?”
“No. There’s something wrong with her face.” "There’s nothing wrong with her face. Look at her. Great lips, pretty eyes, good skin…her nose is straight and her cheekbones are extraordinary. Isn’t that what you always look at first? Their cheekbones?”
“You’re full of shit.”
“C’mon Aaron. I’m right about her. Why are you being so stubborn?”
“I don’t mean her. You’re full of it when you say you don’t have any regrets. Everyone has regrets.”
“I don’t. What do you regret?”
“Everything I’ve ever done, and everything I’ve never done.”
“You’re the one who’s full of it, Buddy. Tell me what’s wrong with her.”
“Something. Something about her face just isn’t right.”
"Lately, you always find something wrong with them.”
"How about bear girl?” Aaron asked. “You don’t regret going home with her?”
“No. All that body hair wasn’t exactly a turn on, but no regrets. Sometimes you have to open yourself up to the experience. Besides, I wouldn’t have gone home with her if you hadn’t been in the same mood that you’re in tonight. We had two lookers, but it was a package deal and you backed out. What’s with you lately? You can’t really regret ‘everything you’ve ever done and everything you’ve never done.’ ”
"Also everything I’ve ever said and everything I’ve never said.”
Nathan returned his attention to the ladies, who were on his left. “I think she’s gorgeous.”
“Take the one with short hair. She’s pretty enough. How about that Spin Doctors tattoo you had removed last year? You must have regretted getting that.”
“Not at all. I got the tattoo when the Spin Doctors were my favorite band. When they weren’t, I had it removed. Nothing to regret. If I take the one with short hair then it leaves you with the one you think is ugly.”
“She’s not ugly. There’s just something wrong with her face.”
“We should go over.”
“Not interested.”
“I don’t get you lately. You’re always in a mood.”
“You go over. Take whichever one you want.”
“I need a wing man.”
“You need a pilot. But it’s time you learned to solo.”
"You are really in a mood. Yeah, I know I don’t have your looks or all your smooth lines. But you have to admit, I make a pretty good wing man.”
“That you do. I’m just not interested tonight.”
“Well, see if you can shake it off. I’m gonna hit the head.”
“I’ll get fresh drinks.”
“Macallan 12 neat, and a Jack and coke.”
“You know, at this point you can just say ‘the usual’ if you want to save some syllables,” the bartender answered.
“Sorry Josh, just habit.”
“Routine, I’d say. But that’s just semantics.” Josh raised his chin a bit as he looked to his left. “She’s coming over. I assume you’re buying.”
“Yeah. The one with short hair, right?”
“Correct. White wine for her, mineral water for the friend. I’ll pour the drinks while you pour on the charm.”
“I know you really want to say bullshit instead of charm. I won’t be insulted.”
“Semantics.”
She walked up to the bar and stood close to Aaron, but didn’t look directly at him. Instead, they caught each other’s eye in the mirror behind the bar.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve already ordered your drinks,” he said.
Now she looked at him. “That was nice of you.”
“I felt like I should, considering that my friend and I have been staring at you since you walked in. We didn’t mean to be rude. Consider the drinks an apology.”
“No need,” she said. “When you’re out with Mandy, you learn to expect it. Men always stare at her. They can’t help themselves.”
“I’m Aaron, and that’s Nathan.” He nodded toward his friend, who was just returning to their table.
“Well, Aaron, I should tell you that Mandy has had her eye on you since we walked in.”
“What about you?”
“What about me? It doesn’t matter. Mandy likes you.”
“Does she always get what she wants?”
“Look at her. How often do you think men say ‘no’ to her?”
“She is pretty. But there’s something odd about her face. I can’t figure out what it is.” He turned back to face the woman standing next to him. “You haven’t told me your name.”
“I’m Peggy.” She picked up the drinks. “Thanks again. Why don’t you and Nathan join us.”
“I’d like that. I need to talk to him for a few minutes, first.”
“There’s no need to argue over it. She wants you, not him.” She started to walk away, but paused and turned toward him again. “She doesn’t smile. She’s afraid she’ll wrinkle.”
Josh walked back to where he was standing and set his drinks on the bar. “How do you do it?”
“The better question might be ‘why’?” He picked up his drinks and returned to the table.
“Well, are we set?” Nathan asked.
“More or less.”
“Damn, Aaron. That’s something else you’re doing lately. Why do you have to be so cryptic? Are we set or not?”
“She doesn’t smile.”
“What?”
“She doesn’t smile. She’s afraid her face will wrinkle. She doesn’t want to get laugh lines around her lips and eyes.”
“That’s kind of weird.”
“It’s worse than weird. It’s sad. What kind of life is it, being afraid to smile or laugh?”
“You have to admit that it’s working. Look at her.”
“Yes. A completely unlined face.”
“Gorgeous.”
“A completely unlined, perfectly vapid face.”
“Come on, Bud. Don’t be difficult. She’s looking over here.”
“A face with no history and no sign of emotion or intelligent thought. She might as well be wearing a mask.”
“Are we going over?"
“The one you like wants me.”
“I expected that. I’m okay with the short-haired one.”
“Peggy. It’s all we ever do. Go home with women that we don’t even know, and most of the time we don’t see them again. Or if we do see them at the bar, we ignore them.”
“You ignore them. I don’t.”
“Don’t you ever get tired of it?”
“What else do we have to do?”
“A valid point. Here’s to no regrets. ” Aaron raised his Scotch and took a drink. “Let’s go.”
“Mandy, this is Nathan. He can’t keep his eyes off of you.”
The face remained expressionless, as blank as unlined paper.
“You’d make one hell of a poker player,” Aaron said. He turned his attention to Peggy.
