The Plates 

A short story by Myra Wexler Darwish

             Every family has a special story of some kind that flows through the generations like a river that is deep, wide, and garners respect. This story captures the essence of what a prescient father had believed to be true about his daughter and her marital relationship of twenty-three years.

            The story starts back in 1983, when a father gave his daughter and son-in-law two gifts in honor of their anniversary celebration. The gifts spoke to the success of their marriage, the years that had already passed, as well as those that the couple had not as yet experienced. It isn’t often that a gift becomes part of a family’s cultural, which makes this story even more important to tell.

            It was a hot July afternoon, and close family was invited over to celebrate our 22^nd wedding anniversary. The Darwish household (my own) was very busy, preparing for the guests to arrive; the pots were filled with luscious vegetables, and the oven’s temperature was correctly set to be able to cook the roast chicken to perfection. A jello mold was being placed in a warm water bath to loosen it up, and was then turned upside down. The result was a clear green lime-flavored base, with a lime and sour cream whipped top; in the 1980’s this was considered to be a standard for a nice dessert. The children were playing upstairs in their bedrooms, but as soon as they heard the car doors close, they ran down the steps to greet their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins…it was an occasion for all to be together and celebrate. You could hear the squeals of joy, “Hi Zedie,” “Hi Bubbie,”  “Hi Mémé,” “Hi Papou,” coming from the children. Being together as a family is the glue that binds so many of us together; it’s hard to imagine what life would be like without this societal structure!

            I was very busy preparing for our dinner in the kitchen, but that didn't stop me from taking the time to give and receive the many hugs and well wishes that came my way. Boxes of cakes and cookies were handed to me, and then came the two very interesting 12 x 12 x 2 inch, plain cardboard packages handed to me by my father, “Dad what’s this?” I exclaimed, “Oh you’ll see when you open it up.” I mentioned my father’s gift to my husband, thinking, why shouldn’t we both be in suspense? The dinner turned out to be delicious, the chicken was tender and juicy, the string beans had just the right amount of butter and almonds, and the carrots and mashed potatoes enhanced the plates they were served on.

            After the dishes were cleaned and the refrigerator loaded with the remaining leftovers, I made tea and coffee for the dessert. The table was spread with cakes and cookies, some which were homemade like my mother-in-law’s famous “Ghorayeba” butter cookies. It felt good to relax, and to savor the time that we were sharing. I noticed my father as he got up from his chair and headed over to the buffet where some gifts had been placed. He then handed the packages that he had brought with him, saying, “These are for you both, I hope that you like them,” with a loving and wise look on his face, he went on, “This is the package you want to open first!” There we were, excited to be opening what was to become one of the most special gifts of our life together as a couple.

            My husband opened the first package, struggling somewhat as the cardboard was thick. Something silver was shining from within as we got our first glimpse of the contents. “A plate,” I exclaimed, “It’s a plate.” We tried to take the plate out as gently as we could, and out came a beautiful silver-edged plate with the inscription on it,  “Congratulations on your 25^th Anniversary.” We were both so touched, “But dad our 25^th is three years away!” He smiled a very knowing smile…”Yes I know, but I wanted to see your faces now.” “Open the second box,” he gently prodded us, and we did as we had done before. What we saw amazed us, this time there was something gold shining from within, it was another plate, and this time we saw that it had a gold-edged rim with the inscription: “Congratulations on your 50^th Wedding Anniversary.” We were both speechless, and I had tears in my eyes, knowing that we had received something very, very precious. Dad said in a quieted tone, “I know I won’t be here to celebrate your golden anniversary, and I wanted you to know that I believe you will be celebrating it!”

            It is extraordinary to receive such a clear expression of faith in one’s marital relationship from a parent as we had received in the form of  those anniversary plates. What is even more extraordinary was that my father passed the following year, and never made it to our 25^th anniversary celebration. I believe that he knew he wasn’t going to be able to be with us, and left the plates with us as a testament to his love and respect.

We celebrated our 50^th anniversary in 2011 with our three children, their spouses, and our grandchildren. Somehow I know that our family who had passed were celebrating with us, the room felt very, very full!

The golden-rimmed plate is now in a prominent place in our home, a reminder that those who love us can indeed see what the future holds. What happened to the silver-rimmed plate you may ask? Well, that is where the magic of this story best reveals itself. The plate was given to our daughter and her husband in 2010, in honor of their 25^th anniversary, and will be passed on to our sons and their wives in the future. 

Believing in those we love has something to do with seeing!