A Bolt of Lightning

Author © Scott D. Zachary

A hundred and ten miles on a bike
Is no small feat for a tyke.
My calves and thighs were beyond sore,
And the blisters did break open and pour.

At last, the destination reached,
No more energy could be leached.

My endurance I’d severely tested;

I dropped to the ground and rested.

On that mountain, no one was around,
And so my slumber was quite sound.
To sit up the next morning, I had to strain—
Every movement evoked excruciating pain.

Now it was time to prepare—
First thing, put on some fresh underwear.
Cookies, hotdogs, and chocolate I ate
Until I thought I’d regurgitate.

My body refueled, I started out once more,

In spite of every muscle aching to the core.
Instead of south, this time to the north,
I renewed my determination and pressed forth.

After pedaling a few miles along my route,
I remembered a short-cut a man told me about.
The man had said it would save many a mile,
So I veered off my path with a great big smile.

Yes, it was shorter, but up and up I went;
I was out of breath and nearly spent.
Close to the top, I had to stop and walk;
It would’ve been a chore just to talk.

Finally—at last—the summit I found;
The sight before me did astound.
This mighty hill coursed steeply down;
I jumped on my bike and left the crown.

For a while, I coasted;
“A welcome rest,” I boasted.
Then I leaned forward and gathered speed;
In eighth gear, I pedaled like a demon, indeed.

At fifty or so, I passed a Volkswagen Bug,
Encouraged by the marvel on his mug.

The driver gawked, his look was amazed;
I dropped into tenth gear as he gazed.

I had never experienced such a thrill
As I did coming down that sheer hill.
The scenery flashed by like mighty spears
As the wind dashed past my ears.

I speculated I was doing sixty-five;
Then, in horror, I saw the bottom of the drive.

The road before me turned ninety degrees,
And I was still zooming past the trees!

In fear of being bodily maimed,
“Slow down, slow down,” I exclaimed!
Clamping both brakes, my future was grim;
The rubber was melting onto the rim.

Upon the road, I dragged my tennis shoes;
My grisly tragedy would bring bad news!
All my efforts to decrease my speed
Were a folly, wasted and futile, indeed.

At this velocity, I couldn’t make such a curve;

Left and right, I began to swerve.
In my silly attempts to slow down,
The man behind surely thought me a clown.

Scared as hell, my mind was a scramble;
I’d have to shoot into the bushes and bramble.
I scanned the forest for the softest crash;
A big tree would convert my skull to mash.

I left the road like a bolt of lightning;
Nothing in my life had ever been so frightening.
A leafy branch nearly knocked me out;
A prickly bush shredded my jeans like kraut.

Fortune placed a sapling twixt the pedal and frame;

From sixty to a stop within ten feet, I came.

It broke my speed rather slowly;

The bicycle gods looked favorably upon me.

Newton’s laws of physics that defied;
To my body, centrifugal force applied.
Like a catapult, I left my seat;
My handlebars and tummy did meet.

Into the forest, my childhood flew,
Some forty or fifty feet over and through.
The guy in the Bug knew I’d need a gurney;
Surely he thought I curtailed my journey.

Bashing the handlebars left me no air;
All I could do was lie there and stare.
Now a small crowd began to mill
As my lungs, I struggled to fill.

My first breath of air, a hiccup it resembled.

“He’s alive! He’s alive!” shouted the assembled.
The fellow in the Bug and others did cheer
As I sat up dazed, “Anybody got a beer?”