Our Guide’s Name is Zero

  We had been vacationing in Evergreen Colorado when Beth and Toni, our two ladies decided a hike into the foothills would be fun. Ben and I agreed that would be a good way to finish out our last full day of vacation.

  Discussing this over coffee at the Donna Lynn Cafe I noticed a rugged looking old timer taking a keen interest in our conversation. He was dressed for the local: an old Stetson, hard worn jeans and a pearl buttoned western style shirt. For some reason it amused me that he had all of the above topped off with scuffed cowboy boots and an oversized bandanna around his neck. He had a look about him that he had seen it all and done the rest. Probably a real hard case.

  As we drew out plans on a napkin the old guy walked over to our table and introduced himself. “ Howdy. I heard you all talking, not to eavesdrop mind you, and thought I might offer some advice, if you don’t mind that is. My name is Zero and I work part time these days as a guide. Know every inch of the area. Rates are cheap and I can promise a better time with me along than not.”

  “ Well, that’s a direct sales pitch.” I said good naturedly, “ Truth is we’re a bit out of our element and it might be nice to have someone with us that gets us back. Not that we would get lost. What about it guys?”

  Toni and Beth were fast to agree which bothered me that they would feel safer with Zero along. I know, it was my idea to go with it but still. Ben agreed with less enthusiasm than Beth and Toni and gave me a look that said, Me and you are gonna talk.’

  We settled on terms and parted company with Zero while we went back to Havenstead Hotel to change into our hiking clothes and boots. Four tenderfoots for sure. Toni said we looked like tourists in a brochure.

  “ Nobody is going to mistake us for locals. That’s for sure.” Beth said in agreement. “ Anyway I always wanted to be the tourist on a brochure.” Both the girls laughed. Ben and I just exchanged that look: Girls and the mountains don’t mix well.

  Ben: “ As long as Zero keeps us away from cougar territory he’s worth every penny.”

  “ Cougars?” Beth and Toni said together.

  “ He’s just kidding. The most dangerous thing we’ll see is a chipmunk. Let’s get back to the Donna Lynn and get rolling.”

  Back at the cafe Zero was reading a local newspaper while waiting our return. “ Okay then folks. All ready?” I had known Ben since grade school and would have bet my life on his response.

  “ I was born ready.” I winced. I wondered then if he would get started on the ‘ that’s what she said jokes.’

  “ Let’s hit ‘er then.” Zero was all smiles as he helped stow our meager supplies into his Jeep. It was old, rugged and tough as Zero himself. We rode for about twenty minutes listening to some damned amusing stories from our guide. True or not they were good entertainment.

  The Jeep came to a slow stop onto a patch of gravel. A makeshift parking area. A sign read: The Old Cabin One Path. A well worn path led up into the woods. Toni was snapping picture after picture and Beth, the all around city girl, seemed in awe of what was everyday sights to Zero.

The name of the path was odd but I decided not to start the hike by questioning Zero about the history of the path’s name. I heard Ben asking if there was a cabin on the trail and Zero answering that indeed there was. Over a hundred years old and a working well. Visitors were welcome to use the cabin to rest , have lunch or whatever and no there was not a problem with vandalism. I was bringing up the rear and so I picked up my pace to catch up with Toni. “ What do you think hon?”

  “ Love it babe. Have enough pix for a book. Can’t wait to see the cabin.”

  “ Me too. Looks like Beth and Ben are fast friends with Zero already.”

  “ Jealous?” Toni grinned one of her cat grins.

  “ No, that would be if YOU were fast friends with Zero.”

  “ Something funny. I almost called him Zoro earlier.”

  “ Somehow I don’t think he would mind it.”

***

The cabin finally came into view and it was fantastic. Rough hewn logs with chinking and daubing between the logs. At some point in time the building had been whitewashed and was now faded giving another diminsion of charm to the building. The well Zero had mentioned was just ouside the frnt door of the cabin. “ Pump it a few times to clean it out. Has some great tasting mineral water. Perfectly safe. Been drinking it for years.” To prove his point Zero pulled an old tin cup from his small burlap backpack. Pumping about five gallons on the ground Zero then filled his cup several times and drinking. “ Good stuff folks.”

  Of course we all tried the water and I have to say it was good. No one complained and Zero seemed proud of the well and cabin just as if he had built them. After a short lunch inside the cabin we left to continue the hike. Out last I took a penny and left it on the sill over the door. For years I had this quirk of leaving something behind on my journeys  as a way of letting the universe know I visited. Dumb but kind of a jinx if I don’t. Toni knows about this trait and finds it funny. She whispered: “ What did you leave behind?”

  “You know that breaks the luck.”

  “ I must like the kid in you or we would be in trouble.”

  “ In spades.” I agreed.

***

  In a little less than an hour of our continued hike we came upon a second cabin, identical in every way to the first. Even Zero’s actions were almost identical including the speech about the great tasting well water. We all drank and went inside the cabin for a ten minute rest. Everyone except Zero. After going back out we were all surprised but not panicked to not see Zero.

  “ Nature probably called.” Ben said in answer to unspoken questions. I went back to the cabin and checked over the door sill. The penny was there. I put it back and added a second. I also etched a small x on the door frame.

  I told Toni about the penny and her response was a nervous laugh and raised eyebrows. I suggested we wait ten minutes for Zero and head back down the trail. Without even a flashlight I was in no mood to follow the path in what would almost surely be near pitch black. The tree canopy was that thick.

  “ Times up. Let’s book.” Ben sounded a little nervous. “ Can’t believe he just left us.”

  “ No worries Ben. Just one path down. No way to get lost.” We all hustled down the trail the magic of the trek now lost. After an hour we came upon the cabin again.

  Beth: “ Thank God. I think it’s only like a half hour to the road. Probably take us an hour or so from there.” I walked to the cabin to check the door sill. Don’t let them be here. But they were as was the x on the door frame. What the…?

  “ Okay guys down we go. Let’s not let it ruin our trip.” That’s my girl, Toni putting a positive spin on the situation. She made eye contact with me and I just nodded.

  We walked for hours passing five cabins. Beth was hysterical, Ben wasn’t far behind her. Of course I checked each cabin with the same results until we happened on another cabin. I walked in and checked the sill. Nothing there. Before I could even begin to think what this could mean I felt the frame and felt for the x.It was there. Then the voice of Zero. “ It’s a puzzle eh? By the way that x you carved in the frame is vandalism. Don’t do it again. Word of advice? Don’t leave the path. You don’t want to know what’s out there. Adios.”

  I looked out at the shadowy figures of the other three waiting for me. There was nothing I could tell them. We could only walk down the path until insanity took us on an all new adventure.

end