About one month ago, I wrote an article regarding the parole hearing of the young man who took my sons' life. His hearing was scheduled for some time in October and my question was would he or would he not be paroled, this being his third parole hearing. I had struggled with whether or not I wanted to incorporate my concerns into his hearing by submitting victim impact statements indicating why I thought he should remain incarcerated, which I had done in the past. I chose to opt-out this time and let the Parole Board make their own decisions.
Well, now I'm wondering if I did the right thing! I received a letter from the Parole Board saying that his parole has been granted and he will be released from prison in the next few weeks. I never thought that hearing of his release would make such an impact on me, but it has. I am so very afraid. Not for my safety; but for my sanity and my peace of mind. I fear that one day I might bump into him on the street and my emotions will lead me right back to the first time I saw his face in the courtroom 19 years ago. How would I react? How can we live in the same city and not occasionally run into one another? If that happens would hate consume me like it did that morning 19 years ago?
My Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; (" he is free now and I cannot do anything about that.")
Courage to change the things I can; (Should I have chosen to make another appeal to the Parole Board?")
Wisdom to know the difference: ("I will never know if I could have prevented him from being released into the public")
I'm praying God will give me the strength to get through any painful situations that may arise.
